Hispanic Fanatic

These are perplexing times for Hispanics, especially for those who are Catholic. Actually, that statement is ridiculous, because these are confusing times for everybody, unless there’s some really enlightened individual out there who has achieved inner harmony while the rest of the world roils uncontrollably.

But getting back to those Hispanic Catholics, let’s address a question: In an election year, do they tap into their faith to lead them to the conclusion that we should be concerned with the poor and the plight of immigrants (liberal ideas) or do they lose their collective mind over gays and abortion (conservative ideas)?

Now that the nominees are set, will Hispanics back Obama – the Democrat and (as you may have noticed) a fellow ethnic minority? Or will they turn against him because he surged past Hillary Clinton, that perennial Latino favorite?

Will they go for John McCain, whose efforts to appeal to Hispanics have thus far consisted of learning how to pronounce the word “fajita” correctly? Or will they lump him in with the build-a-fence, deport-everybody Republican crowd?

At this point, it seems like the decades-long lock that Democrats have on this constituency is intact, but weakening. People like my pro-life, anti-war aunt don’t exactly feel a kinship to either political party. Her opinions are not contradictory to herself, but they cause pollsters fits. 

Of course, being Hispanic is no longer synonymous with being Catholic. When I was growing up, encountering a Latino who did not know the rosary backward and forward was as rare as discovering an Asian person who was really into polka. That’s not necessarily true anymore, and I’ll address the de-Catholicization of Latino culture in a future post.

But in any case, it will be intriguing to see if religion and race mix in unpredictable ways this November. 

I’ve mentioned before that Hispanics are now the number-one minority in America. On a related note, I’m sure you’ve heard that salsa is more popular than ketchup (it’s true, more or less).

But this numerical advantage in population hasn’t amounted to much for Latinos, except perhaps to convince many U.S. citizens that hordes of immigrants are flooding the country, stealing their jobs, and oogling their wives.

Because of the complex history involved, more obvious racial differences, or just plain coolness, black people will always have the advantage of being in the forefront of the national consciousness. This will remain true even if the percentage of blacks in America continues to decline under the onslaught of an out-of-control Catholic birthrate (most Hispanics are still Catholic, which I’ll discuss in a future post).

We simply do not have the cache that black people have. Witness the fact that plenty of white people consider themselves culturally black. Many more actively want to be black, which can make for a disturbing and/or hilarious spectacle.

Witness also that a white-black interracial hook-up results in the oft-repeated catchphrase “Once you go black, you never go back.” What is the equivalent for a white-Latino relationship? “Once you go brown, you never… I don’t know… frown?” You see the discrepancy.

Now, there are advantages to being off-stage. For example, if someone tosses a slur in our direction, we are positive that he really means to be insulting and isn’t making some idiotic attempt to be down with us. Black people put up with that shit all the time.

In any case, it’s all just whining, I suppose. It won’t even matter in a few generations, because in the future, everybody will be at least part Hispanic. Don’t believe me? Sorry, but the numbers are on our side.