Hispanic Fanatic

I can still recite the Boy Scout Oath.

Those words, along with various patriotic slogans and wilderness-survival tips, were instilled in me during my early teens, when I was part of a scout troop at my local church.

I didn’t know it at the time, but the troop was an attempt by community leaders to nurture “at-risk youth,” that euphemistic term for minority and/or low-income kids.

Indeed, most of my fellow scouts were Latinos with brothers in gangs, or parents on welfare. They were sinewy pre-adolescents with insouciant attitudes and a willingness to start a brawl.

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My wife has warned me, for my own sanity, to stop torturing myself. But I can’t help it.

Whenever I read a news article about immigration or the dismal economy or some other political topic, I scroll down to the Comments section to see what the theoretical average American thinks about the situation.

This is always a mistake. The ratio of insightful comment to shrill diatribe is about one in ten.

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It came from outer space.

Well, not really, but that’s what a lot of people think.

The chupacabra, as you may know, is a Latin American legend. He (it?) is a vampire-like creature that attacks animals (primarily goats) and sucks their blood and/or internal organs out. He’s one scary badass.

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One of my favorite words is “internecine.” Of course, I don’t admire the concept (i.e., hostility or conflict within a group). I just like the sound of its syllables clanging together.

In any case, “internecine” describes the situation whenever ethnic minorities beat up on each other. It’s most famous application is “black-on-black violence.”

I have yet to hear about brown-on-brown violence, but perhaps it is only a matter of time. For example, a few months ago in Staten Island, a Mexican immigrant became one of the borough’s recent victims of a hate crime.

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Recently, I wrote about the smoldering embers of the bilingual education debate. For decades, conservatives and progressives have been arguing about the best way to educate immigrant children.

The debate means little, however, to those Americans who are convinced that all those tiny Juans and Marias have dragged down public education. Immigrant kids, many people claim, are perpetual underachievers and a drain on the system.

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Let me say a quick thanks to Antonio, Robin, and my old friend the Bitca for their recent comments.

Next, let me introduce the subject of today’s post: sex.

Yes… sex… sex… sex.

Sorry, I was just trying to drive up the site’s traffic.

However, the topic is relevant, in light of a recent study that looked at everybody’s favorite pastime (i.e., getting’ it on) and filtered it through a racial prism.

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It’s dangerous, not to mention intellectually dishonest, to insist that any racial or ethnic group has specific likes or dislikes. After all, in today’s multiracial society, it’s often debatable who is or isn’t a member of a certain group. And let’s not forget that such assertions, even well-meaning ones, open up the door to stereotyping.

But like most dangerous and/or offensive things, it’s also a lot of fun to do.

Recently, the good people at OK Trends did a little analysis on people who joined a dating website. The researchers looked at over a half-million individuals and divided them into groups by their self-stated race or ethnicity. The authors then “isolated the words and phrases that made each racial group’s essays statistically distinct” and posted the results.

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Until a few years ago, I had never heard the term “dishwasher guilt.” This odd phrase describes the tendency of immigrants to resist buying or using this symbol of American convenience. It’s “a quirk in the assimilation process that baffles social scientists.”

My mother, who came to America from El Salvador over forty years ago, owns two houses. Neither has a dishwasher.

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With all the recent love that has been extended to immigrants (really, it’s been nonstop kisses and flowers), one could be forgiven for believing that hate groups in America are on the decline.

However, a recent report from the Southern Poverty Law Center says that the number of hate groups increased just a little — 244 percent — over the previous year. Now, this intimidating statistic provokes a natural question: What is the definition of a hate group?

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I recently wrote about self-loathing among immigrants and among Latinos in general.

That got me thinking about my own insecurities. Yes, I have a couple, believe it or not. One of them relates to this website.

As I’ve stated before, and in the interest of full disclosure, I’m not 100 percent Latino. I’m half Hispanic, through my mother’s side. That side is, of course, fanatical – hence the blog.

I’m also one-quarter Italian, which comes out when I talk (my hands never stop moving). The Irish quarter in me comes out… I don’t know… whenever I feel the urge to drink strong whiskey, I guess.

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