An Iraqi Sunni, a Bosnian Serb, and a Moro Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve all been politically downgraded.” So they shoot up the place, killing everyone.
Ha, that’s a good one.
OK, it’s not. But it proves a point.
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Yes, our favorite wacky ex-president is shouting, dodging, delaying, and obstructing his way back into our hearts. He’s hoping to once again avoid consequences for his repulsive and potentially lethal behavior.
And there are plenty of Americans who are happy to help him do so. Now, I’m not talking about the usual co-conspirators, enablers, sycophants, rabid followers, and nutjobs. We know that those guys are all in, all the time.
No, I’m talking about the well-meaning Americans who are advocating for Biden to pardon Trump. This misguided plea usually rests on one of four arguments. And they are all bad.
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I’m part of the problem.
OK, not me personally. But Latino men such as me—well, there are some issues.
You see, “evidence is mounting that the national political environment right now actually leans toward Democrats.” To be clear, the GOP is still favored to win the House in the midterms, but that fabled red wave might end up as more of magenta splash.
I’m sure Republicans are wondering why their insurmountable lead has dissipated. Hey, maybe praising a sociopath who steals nuclear secrets, insulting everyone with college debt, and forcing raped children to carry pregnancies to term are bad campaign ads.
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“He says, ‘Call it a fatwa if you wish,’ and I say, ‘Well, fuck you and fuck your fatwa.’”
Mark Leyner—The Tetherballs of Bougainville
You know when two unrelated events happen simultaneously, and then it later turns out that those desperate things are actually highly related? OK, that usually happens in twisty-turny Hollywood thrillers, but sometimes it transpires in real life.
For example, the FBI recently executed a search warrant at the residence of a disgraced ex-president who had been hording classified documents—and maybe nuclear secrets—for some unknown reason that must be perfectly legit and not all criminal, corrupt, or terrifying. Soon after this, a lunatic stabbed acclaimed writer Salman Rushdie in the neck.
So what do these two events have to do with one another?
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