Hispanic Fanatic

If you have ever wanted to live like a James Bond villain in your own island lair, I have good news for you.

For the low price of several bajillion dollars, you can buy “a maximum security compound in which to ride out the coming plague, solar storm, or electric grid collapse,” whichever apocalyptic event comes first.

OK, maybe you don’t have a spare several million to drop on a high-tech sanctuary from which to survive the “environmental collapse, social unrest, nuclear explosion, unstoppable virus, or malicious computer hack that takes everything down.”

That just means you don’t love your family, because you are sentencing them to death in the inevitable Armageddon headed our way. 

But don’t worry. Because rich people will be just fine.

Yes, our favorite 1 percent of the population — the uber-wealthy — are striving to insulate “themselves from the very real and present dangers” that in many cases, they helped to create. 

Whether they made their money by destroying the environment or fomenting societal upheaval, billionaires are buying bunkers, hoarding resources and even creating private compounds in New Zealand (proving once again that rich oligarchs may praise right-wing enclaves like Hungary, but they actually want to live in a stable, socially liberal country).

These plutocrats are trying to “break the laws of physics, economics, and morality to… escape from the apocalypse of their own making.”

And they can afford it. Since the pandemic, the top 1% “have captured nearly twice as much new wealth as the rest of the world.”

Of course, there are many Americans who hero-worship the rich, and they are perfectly fine with sacrificing themselves if it means that an affluent buffoon will continue to live in luxury even if society collapses.

That sounds like an exaggeration, but witness how many poor Americans continue to vote Republican despite the GOP’s admission that it wants to destroy any semblance of a social safety net, give more money to billionaires, and allow the rich to “exploit the majority so they can accumulate wealth and move society forward as they wish.” 

A large percentage of Americans struggle to pay their bills, but shriek that any effort to make wealthy narcissists contribute more is “class warfare” or “socialism” or just morally offensive.

When it comes to opulent show-offs, Americans love “the wild philistinism and the bullying and the offhand cruelty, the compulsive self-aggrandizement and the giddy vengeful sadism.. all of it so oafishly performed that it could not possibly be mistaken for anything but what it is.”

The GOP knows this. So they have leaned into promoting crass morons born into wealth as avatars of the American Dream. 

Republicans have long insisted that “democracy and unfettered capitalism always traveled together,” but recently they have “ignored the ‘democracy’ part of that equation and continually doubled down on the idea that the American system means that businesses should be able to do whatever they wished,” while insisting that “any oversight must be Soviet-style communism.”

The result is that Republican legislators will gleefully derail bills to provide free breakfast and lunch for school students because they don’t want kids to get dependent on government. Seriously — this is an actual top GOP priority. Hey, for Republicans, hungry children do not even exist.

So if Republicans get their way, and rich people continue to tear the world down while plotting their escapes, what happens years from now, when only the wealthy can afford to survive?

Well, the truth is that islands are more dependent, not less, on society. So that approach won’t work.

Also, underground bunkers have air filters that break down and require strenuous effort to fix. You really think some pampered blue blood can handle that degree of manual labor?

And when it comes to armed compounds, remember that the hired thugs who protect the wealthy are people too. If the economic system has collapsed and money has no value, do you believe rifle-toting mercenaries are going to protect some rich jerk out of kindness and love?

So no, the wealthy will not survive.

There, don’t you feel better now?

It’s a holiday week, so I’m taking a break, unrelated to my frantic surge to finish my manuscript before my publisher bursts through my front door, shouting, “Where the hell is it?”

No, just a holiday pause.

I will be back next week with a full post.

Until then, here is an AI-generated Shakespearean passage that I created with a random prompt:

To challenge the shadows, it doth yearn, without scope to counterattack

Deluged in confusion, verily, ’tis an abyss to be explored

At her very core, I stand, consumed by her exaggeration’s might

Be honest. You thought that was really Shakespeare, didn’t you?

Enjoy the holiday, and see you next week.

As opposed to many writers, I’ve never suffered from depression. I’m grateful to have avoided this killer.

So does that mean I’m a bubbly, upbeat dude who makes lemonade out of lemons and greets every day with a smile?

OK, I didn’t say that.

I don’t get sad. I get mad. 

People in my life know that I have a short temper. Many of them have told me to relax and not get so angry. 

I find this advice odd, in that you would never tell a depressed person to just cheer up. Yet my negative emotion, anger, is somehow viewed as a choice.

I’m betting before long that we will diagnose chronic fury the same way we diagnose chronic depression. We will have a pill to treat anger that costs too much and comes with devastating side effects.

Until then, more Americans like me will continue to battle high blood pressure and a propensity for tirades.

One factor that triggers rage — not just in me, but in many people — is stress. This malady is so malicious that it can change the body at a cellular level. And Americans are more stressed than ever.

A recent study found that over half of Americans suffer financial stress. Massive numbers of Americans, especially ethnic minorities, suffer from health conditions that stress their bodies. And our “unequal society contributes to people in the United States aging quicker, becoming sicker, and dying younger.”

Yes, we like to proclaim America as the land of opportunity. But in reality, it has become the land of unrelenting stress and punishing inequality.

How unequal are we? Consider that “students’ standardized test scores rise with their parents’ incomes — and disparities start years before students sit for tests.”

Also consider that the United States “continues to underperform on an annual list that ranks inclusivity as experienced by marginalized groups in countries across the globe.” Currently, the United States “ranks 118th in the world for racial inclusion.”

It doesn’t exactly make you want to shout, “USA! USA!” 

To top off this survey of our stressful nation, please note that stress can begin in the womb, accumulate through difficult childhoods, and cascade right into adulthood. So yes, a whole generation of kids are currently being set up for stressful, miserable lives.

And as a final insult, studies show that people who believe in conspiracy theories are more likely to be suffering from stress. That explains a lot about the America that we live in.

Is it any wonder that I feel so angry all the time?

It’s time for another update on how my fellow Latinos are doing.

First, the good news. 

Ongoing efforts to mobilize Latino voters are paying off, and Hispanics are poised “to become a consequential voting bloc influencing contested races in the 2024 presidential election.”

So instead of leaving it to Black women to save America over and over again, perhaps we Latinos can step up for democracy this time.

Your other bit of good news is that scientists are testing new technology on immigrant workers that will “send alerts when the core body temperature rises critically or when other alarming signals indicate heat stress.” The innovation could save the lives of many Latin American immigrants, who often toil in brutal heat to keep the nation’s economy humming.

But that leads to the bad news.

You see, recent studies have shown that Latino kids in states with more anti-immigrant laws “are in poorer health.”

Yes, bigotry is lethal. The study found that Latino children living in states with more anti-immigrant laws and policies—and its “resulting inequities in access” —are more likely to suffer chronic physical health conditions and mental health issues.

On a related note, Latino kids nationwide are also being kept ignorant about their own history.

Recent research has shown that “most of the seminal events” in U.S. Latino history “are not a subject of study in high schools across the country.” The study found that “87% of key Latino topics were either not covered in U.S. history textbooks or were mentioned in just five or fewer sentences.”

And speaking of education, you will be disconcerted to discover that over half of Latino college students considered dropping out last year, which is a substantial increase since 2020 and comes “after Hispanics had made significant gains in higher education.”

As if that weren’t enough, another study has shown internecine strife among Latinos. The study says that most Latinos who struggle with Spanish say another Latino “has made them feel bad for it.” So it’s bad enough that we have white supremacists targeting us. But here is fresh proof that we can be our own worst enemy.

Take it from someone whose abuela was constantly muttering “sin verguenza” about my lack of fluency. That attitude doesn’t magically make someone bilingual. 

Well, that’s about it. As usual, the bad news seems to outweigh the good.

Oh, and one more thing. The recent surge in hate crimes, which includes spikes in antisemitism and Islamophobia, also includes a “significant increase” against Latinos.

So there’s that.

Aren’t you glad that I led off with the good news?

OK, I’ve almost finished the manuscript for my upcoming book. But for the final push, I need to take another week off from posting to this website. This really should be the last time.

So in lieu of writing a fresh post, I have asked AI to discuss how to survive a ninja attack.

I’m sure you will find AI’s advice both intriguing and highly relevant. Here it is:

Never look a ninja directly in the eyes. 

Have at least two weapons within arms’ reach in case one gets compromised. 

Hire some professional bodyguards who can protect you from ninjas.

Learn some elite counter-assassination techniques that can help you defend yourself against ninjas.

If all else fails, you can resort to a nuclear explosion to wipe out the ninjas. However, this is a very risky and extreme option that should only be used as a last resort. 

I hope these tips will help you survive a ninja attack. Stay safe and vigilant!