Hispanic Fanatic

I’ve referred many times to the book I’m writing. Well, now I can reveal the specifics.

I am writing an analysis of the 1979 film The Amityville Horror for the publishing company DieDie Books. The book will come out later this year.

As part of the writing process, I’m collecting opinions about the movie and the concept of the supernatural. I would appreciate your thoughts. You can express your opinion by taking this short survey I created on Google Docs.

The survey will take about one minute, and your opinion will be part of the book.

Thanks for your help, and I will let you know when the book is published.

Hey, remember that book I was writing? Yeah, you remember.

On certain weeks, I had to skip posting because I was swamped working on the first draft. And then I would just post a rambling apology for not writing a full article and paste up a crazy AI-generated image to distract you.

Speaking of that, look at this:

Yeah, well… this is a little awkward. But I need to take another break this week.

I made my deadline and turned in my first draft (huzzah!). But my publisher got back to me with the inevitable rewrites, so now I need to tackle those. Therefore, I’m not writing a new post this week. Just another apology and crazy image:

I’ll be back next week. Thanks

It’s a holiday week, so I’m taking a break, unrelated to my frantic surge to finish my manuscript before my publisher bursts through my front door, shouting, “Where the hell is it?”

No, just a holiday pause.

I will be back next week with a full post.

Until then, here is an AI-generated Shakespearean passage that I created with a random prompt:

To challenge the shadows, it doth yearn, without scope to counterattack

Deluged in confusion, verily, ’tis an abyss to be explored

At her very core, I stand, consumed by her exaggeration’s might

Be honest. You thought that was really Shakespeare, didn’t you?

Enjoy the holiday, and see you next week.

OK, I’ve almost finished the manuscript for my upcoming book. But for the final push, I need to take another week off from posting to this website. This really should be the last time.

So in lieu of writing a fresh post, I have asked AI to discuss how to survive a ninja attack.

I’m sure you will find AI’s advice both intriguing and highly relevant. Here it is:

Never look a ninja directly in the eyes. 

Have at least two weapons within arms’ reach in case one gets compromised. 

Hire some professional bodyguards who can protect you from ninjas.

Learn some elite counter-assassination techniques that can help you defend yourself against ninjas.

If all else fails, you can resort to a nuclear explosion to wipe out the ninjas. However, this is a very risky and extreme option that should only be used as a last resort. 

I hope these tips will help you survive a ninja attack. Stay safe and vigilant! 

Once again, I have no time to post a full-fledged article that bedazzles and delights, infuriates and illuminates. That’s because my book’s deadline is fast approaching, and the pages don’t write themselves.

So I will just note that recent polls show a virtual dead heat in a theoretical matchup between Biden and Trump. And this appalling revelation has provoked many of us to ask, “how can it possibly be … that after everything we’ve been through since 2015, even 5% of Americans, let alone 45%, would consider letting him within a mile of the White House?”

I have no answer to that, of course, because it is complete insanity.

So I will just point out that none of this matters in the long term, because in about 5 billion years, the sun will become a white dwarf and swallow the Earth whole. And everything that ever existed here will be gone forever.

There—don’t you feel better now?

No new blog post this week. I have to devote my limited energy to my upcoming book. The deadline is approaching fast, and I won’t be using AI to write it for me. I know people are doing that, but it’s odd to have a machine create something for you and then proclaim, “I did this!” So I will be cranking out the manuscript the old-fashioned way, one word at a time.

I will, however, post AI-generated images here to keep you entertained in my absence. Check out this doodle:

Pretty cool, huh?

I will be back in a week or two.

Thanks

OK, here’s the good news:

I have signed a contract with a publishing house, and my next book should be coming out in early 2024.

Here’s the bad news:

I have just a few months to finish the manuscript, which thus far consists of one page and a truly killer sentence to start the second page.

So this is going to take some work.

As such, I may have to take periodic breaks from this site to devote more time to writing my book. This is one of those occasions.

I will be back in a couple of weeks with a full-fledged post (assuming that I can make it further into my manuscript — say, to page 3).

In the meantime, I will rely on my new good friend, artificial intelligence, to dazzle you with random images of bizarre providence, like this:

See you soon.

As I may have mentioned, I don’t just blog with abandon. 

I also dabble in fiction (three novels so far, with the fourth coming soon).

And I pen the occasional short story. 

Well, the good people at the No Sleep podcast have seen fit to adapt one my stories for their show.

No Sleep is a sci-fi / horror podcast. So there’s all sorts of scary shit going down there.

You can find the adaptation of my story, “The Site,” by clicking here.

So if you’re in the mood for something creepy, check it out.

And thanks

Yes, we all know that it has been an abysmal year. A lethal, chaotic, maddening, insane year, so ghastly and crushing that the phrase “2020” will no longer cause people to think about the gauge of perfect eyesight or the TV newsmagazine from the 1980s.

When we hear “2020,” we will think of Trump and coronavirus and George Floyd and fights over facemasks and botched coups and protests in the street and fear and anger and confusion and the days that merged into one another as we huddled in isolation.

Basically, nobody will ever refer to this era as the good old days.

But before you say goodbye to this nightmarish year, grab a souvenir of 2020.

I have co-written a collection of short stories, and the book is now for sale on Amazon and elsewhere.

“Feed the Monster Alphabet Soup” is sort of Edward Gory for adults, with stories about a third grader who confronts the devil, an insecure superhero who can’t handle stress, a newborn who sells her placenta to the highest bidder, and other twisted tales.

So if you want to know what to do if you just start floating into the sky one day, or how to handle it when suburban gossip inevitably morphs into a grenade-heavy firefight in the cul-de-sac, pick up a copy here.

Thanks

Yes, 2020 is an election year. Also, an impeachment year.  And possibly the end of civilization as we know it if we don’t finally get serious about climate change and the surging menace of neo-fascist racism.

But you know the really big development of the year thus far? That’s right — I have a new book out.

My latest novel is a sequel to my first book, and you can grab a copy here.

What’s it about? 

Well, The Bridge to Pandemonium furthers the adventures of Abraxas Hernandez, reluctant detective, and it will inevitably be the greatest Latino-themed murder-mystery black comedy that you will read this year. Here’s summary:

It was supposed to be an easy assignment. But when Abraxas Hernandez gets hired to follow a cheating spouse, somehow the whole situation devolves into a grisly murder. Hey, it happens. So Abraxas and his partner (and ex-girlfriend) Vic start investigating, only to encounter a freaky hodgepodge of suspects — including a band of religious zealots, a Marxist stripper, and a pair of secret government operatives who communicate mostly via veiled threats. Oh, and there’s also that frazzled tech millionaire who just can’t stop kidnapping people. In their quest to solve the murder, Abraxas and Vic shatter alibis, dodge bullets, and slam the occasional tequila shot. But when they discover the secret behind the gruesome crime, they learn the full scope of the terrifying scheme that has ensnared them. Plus, some other people start getting killed, and that is not cool at all.

Pick up a copy today. And thanks.