Hispanic Fanatic

I’ve been remiss. For the last few months, I’ve been babbling away about my new novel, Barrio Imbroglio, a dark-comedy mystery. But I have neglected to tell all of you how you can snag a copy for free.

Well, I’m correcting the situation.

If you would like a free e-book version of my novel, all you have to do is be the first person to email me at hispanicf@gmail.com with the message “I want a free copy of your book.” And just like that, I will email you a download code. Don’t worry, I never share my readers’ email addresses with anyone.

Now, if you’re old school, and you’re not really down with this whole e-book trend, you can hold out for a genuine paperback version. That’s coming soon.

But you can hook a free copy of the paperback version, before it’s even published, by entering my giveaway at Goodreads (you can do that by clicking here).

So that’s two ways for you to get Barrio Imbroglio, both of them for free.

There are no strings attached, although I hope that if you win either contest, and you like the novel, you will be kind enough to spread the word via social media and/or post a positive review on Amazon (you can do that by clicking here).

In any case, let me know what you think of Barrio Imbroglio. And thanks.

Congratulations to Katie F. and Andy R., who won passes to see The Lazarus Effect, the new horror movie opening this weekend.

The film is about the dead coming back to life.

If this ever happens in real life, I’m sure Republicans will find some way to blame it all on Obamacare.

Whenever I run a contest for free movie tickets, I ask myself three questions:

1. Does the movie feature Latino themes or tell a Latino-centric story?
2. Are there any Hispanic actors or actresses in prominent roles?
3. Is it a horror movie?

For the most part, the answer to #1 is “No, because they don’t make those,” and the answer to #2 is “Maybe, but probably not.”

So I run a lot of contests for horror movies, and as we all know, we Hispanics love those.

As such, I’m offering you the chance to win passes to a screening of The Lazarus Effect, which is about a group of scientists “who achieve the unimaginable — bringing the dead back to life.”

You can catch it in one of the following cities:

Chicago

El Paso

Los Angeles

Miami

New York City

All you have to do is comment on one of my posts (including this one) about anything you please. Just make sure to tell me what city you plan to see the movie in, and tell me what names (up to two people) I should put on the guest list.

I’ll announce the contest winners in the next week or so.

Until then, please avoid resurrecting corpses. That kind of thing seldom turns out well for anyone involved.

Congratulations to Odyssey99 and Lupe G., who won passes to see The Boy Next Door, the new movie starring Jennifer Lopez.

To be honest, the movie doesn’t look so great from the commercials. Hopefully, it will not be a career low for J. Lo.

Why, yes, I did stay up all night devising that play on words. Why do you ask?

Who doesn’t love J. Lo? Well, besides her many ex’s and those women who are jealous of her gluteus maximus.

Unless you’re in one of those two groups, you’re no doubt open to seeing her new movie, The Boy Next Door.

I’m offering you the chance to win passes to a screening of the film, which is about “a love affair that turns into a horrifying obsession,” to quote my sources.

You can catch it in one of the following cities:

Chicago

Dallas

Los Angeles

Miami

New York City

All you have to do is comment on one of my posts (including this one) about anything you please. Just make sure to tell me what city you plan to see the movie in, and tell me what names (up to two people) I should put on the guest list.

I’ll announce the contest winners in the next week or so.

By the way, did you know Jennifer Lopez is a forty-something mom of twins but still appears scantily clad in music videos? That’s either inspiring or depressing. I will let you decide.

Congratulations to JZelewski and MadKat, who won passes to see Unbroken, the new movie from Angelina Jolie coming out on Christmas Day. She directs the movie, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t appear in it. But if she does, I hope she looks like this.

Considering much of the movie is set in a Japanese POW camp in World War II, she would create quite a stir.

Here at Hispanic Fanatic world headquarters, we’re in a giving mood — joy to the world and all that.

So I’m offering you the chance to win passes to a screening of Unbroken, the new movie from auteur Angelina Jolie. The film tells the story of Olympian and war hero Louis “Louie” Zamperini. It was bestselling book about the Greatest Generation, and I’m sure you’ve all heard about it.

Anyway, you can catch it in one of the following cities:

Chicago

Dallas

Houston

Los Angeles

Miami

New York City

Phoenix

All you have to do is comment on one of my posts (including this one) about anything you please. Just make sure to tell me what city you plan to see the movie in, and tell me what names (up to two people) I should put on the guest list.

I’ll announce the contest winners in the next week or so.

I’ve heard that the film is alternately grim and uplifting. But these days, we all need to take inspiration where we can find it.

Congratulations to Chase, JT, and Guillermo, all of whom won passes to see Ouija, the new horror movie coming out next week.

I didn’t want to mention this before, but Ouija sounds suspiciously like the 1980s classic Witchboard. That movie starred Tawny Kitaen, so you know it was good.

Clearly, we should all be on the lookout for any future movies that address the problem of demonic mass-produced board games.

I may have mentioned, once or twice, that I am like many Hispanics in that I love horror movies. So it’s no surprise that just about the only contests I have on this site consist of tickets to see horror movies.

For example, I’m offering you the chance to win passes to a screening of Ouija, the new horror movie coming out on Halloween. In the film, a group of friends awaken the dark powers of an ancient spirit board (this was probably not very smart of them).

You can catch it in one of the following cities:

Dallas

El Paso

Los Angeles

Miami

New York City

All you have to do is comment on one of my posts (including this one) about anything you please. Just make sure to tell me what city you plan to see the movie in, and tell me what names (up to two people) I should put on the guest list.

I’ll announce the contest winners in the next week or so.

The Ouija board tells me I will have many takers on this one.

Congratulations to Electric Siesta, who won the contest to see Halley, a new Mexican zombie movie.

We hope to receive a review from Electric Siesta about how much he liked the movie. That is, assuming that a zombie doesn’t bite a chunk of his flesh off, thereby turning him into one of the undead and sending him lumbering across the countryside in search of fresh victims.

That would really suck.