Hispanic Fanatic

As I mentioned in my last article, I have recently had computer problems that prevented me from posting updates to this site, or commenting on the myriad issues that are afflicting America — issues like, apparently, the gender of a toy potato.

Wait, what the fuck? 

OK, maybe I’ve been offline for a little bit, but surely, nobody is falling for the GOP’s obvious attempt to reignite idiotic culture wars in a pathetic ploy to distract from their massive failures of leadership, criminal neglect, boorish incompetence, and treasonous behavior.

Right?

Oh damn, there’s a U.S. congressman reading Green Eggs and Ham.

Look, maybe we should reassess what constitutes a crisis.

For example, despite definite progress, the coronavirus has not been vanquished. In fact, Republican-led states now have higher Covid-19 case rates and death rates than Democrat-led states, which may have something to do with right-wing zealotry that encourages conservatives to punch anybody wearing a mask.

Or perhaps Americans should be alarmed at the fact that “Republicans are taking a sledgehammer to voting rights” and that assaulting democracy has become “the central tenet of their party.” 

No?

Well, maybe we should note that the FBI has reconfirmed that White supremacist extremists are the nation’s deadliest terror threat, andthat a recent Defense Department report highlighted disturbing examples of white supremacy inside the military.

For that matter, perhaps we should at least acknowledge how freaky it is that 40% of Republicans might become violent if they don’t get their way. 

And speaking of the GOP, am I the only one who is just a little annoyed that not a single Republican voted for pandemic relief legislation? I mean, the effort was immensely popular and had the backing of most economists. It was a golden opportunity for Republicans to refute the idea that they “only care about the people who can make donations to their campaigns.”

After all, these are the same people who threw a party when they passed tax cuts for billionaires. So isn’t everyone pissed off that Republicans clearly don’t care if average Americans swan dive into bankruptcy or get sick and die? Isn’t every citizen incensed at the hypocrisy, indifference, and corruption?

Hmm, I guess none of this is bothering people.

So never mind. Maybe I’ll just go and disconnect my computer again.

There is no graceful reaction to seeing lunatics get their hearts broken.

When we hear about adherents of QAnon weeping and wailing because their infamously psychotic theory didn’t quite come to pass, well, it’s a question of how we should respond.

Should we laugh?

Should we gloat?

Should we feel pity?

All are understandable reactions when we’re talking about individuals who sincerely believed that Trump was going to round up satanic cannibals with the help of JFK Jr., then wipe out the lizard people that run the world economy.

Really.

Yes, true Q devotees honestly thought that at Biden’s inauguration, Trump would stride to the stage, proclaim himself president, and have every Democrat and Hollywood celebrity promptly thrown into jail. They believed this right up to the moment Biden had his hand on the bible to receive the presidential oath — literally to that second.

And afterward? Well, many Q believers are now saying, “My bad” and trying to slink back into American life. So we’ve had ex-Q fanatics go on television to tell journalists they are sorry for accusing them of eating babies. And we’ve had multiple news stories expressing sympathy for these poor misguided souls who shrieked for suspending the constitution and publically executing anyone who displeased them.

Hey, minor mistake, right? We’ve all been there. Could have happened to anyone. 

Ahem.

What we are seeing is, yet again, the media’s benevolence toward violent White people, and the airing of full-throated rationalizations for delusion, hubris, and horrific behavior among “respectable” citizens.

You see, the link between QAnon and white supremacy is well-established. To no one’s surprise, many disgruntled ex-Q followers are now embracing straight-up Nazism. Furthermore, the anti-Semitism and Islamophobia at the core of the conspiracy theory naturally lend itself to all forms of bigotry.

Of course, it’s not just that you are unlikely to see Black people waving WWG1WGA signs (although that is indeed unlikely). It’s that the very act of becoming a QAnon supporter is a twisted form of White privilege.

Again, look at any article rationalizing the growth of this insanity. You will inevitably read — perhaps to the point of faint praise — how new followers spent 14 hours a day online researching their conspiracy theories.

This is one reason why there are few Latino QAnon freaks. Hispanics are working too fucking hard to spend 14 hours a day researching idiocy. It is only comfortable White people who can indulge in clicking on link after link about Pizzagate and the Storm and similar nonsense.

In addition, Latinos and Blacks don’t need to conjure up imaginary enemies. We had a real-life, 100% verified adversary in the White House for four years, and we see bigots marching in the street, or calling the cops on us for no reason, or even shooting us in our bedrooms. What ethnic minority needs to make up a threatening force? We don’t, because we live in America.

Furthermore, the rise of QAnon is another example of the belief that if things are not working out for white people, it must be a conspiracy. It is also an illustration of how racists will hide their motives by insisting there is some greater good — like rescuing children from blood-drinking sex traffickers — rather than broadcast their hatred. 

Finally, it is perhaps the ultimate example of bigots using their power and privilege to lash out at ethnic minorities, which should not be a shocker because “throughout American history, political violence has often been guided, initiated, and perpetrated by respectable people from educated middle- and upper-class backgrounds.”

And yet numerous media outlets have expressed compassion for this White-centric movement. We hear that QAnon supporters are “regular people” who got “seduced” by a nefarious force beyond their control.

But these are not people who were conned by a compelling theory. These are people who leaned in for a sloppy tongue kiss with craziness.

They possess a strong need for chaos and an insatiable desire for control. QAnon disciples cheered when Trump’s reign “reached its natural culmination, the activation of an army of White thugs who could be motivated by the oldest trick in the nationalist playbook: the promise that they operated in service of some grand idea — to be explained at a later date — and that it was going to take some head-cracking and bloodletting.”

There is a “substantial correlation between those who support or sympathize with QAnon and ‘dark’ personality traits,” such as “extreme, antisocial psychological orientations and behavioral patterns.”

QAnon followers were not seeking explanations for a complex world or trying to rescue America or striving for anything remotely noble.

No, these are people who are sincerely disappointed that a military dictatorship did not institute capital punishment without trial.

So naturally, we should feel sorry for them.

In any case, many QAnon supporters have kept the faith, and simply repurposed their labyrinthine belief system to fit a new set of inconvenient circumstances. 

And those who have renounced it are not sorry for unleashing madness. No, they are angry that Trump didn’t come through, or that democracy prevailed, or that firing squads aren’t lining up Jews right now. 

Others are embarrassed to be so thoroughly humiliated in public, or pissed that they wasted so much time on cryptic prophecies that never came true.

But they are not apologetic for embracing a ludicrous theory that led to actual death, and may yet lead to more destruction. They are bewildered that most Americans would object to their violent uprising, or that anyone would have an issue with their desire to just get on with their lives.

And getting on with their lives is exactly what many of them will do, because their privilege will come through intact.

Hell, some of them might even get elected to Congress.

Wait, check that. Some things are just too crazy to believe.

It may surprise you, but I have friends who are Trump supporters.

OK, they’re primarily Facebook friends, but still…

In any case, a guy I will call Jorge (not his real name) has been clogging up my social media feed for years now with rants about how Trump is unspeakably brilliant, and liberals are hypersensitive haters, and China is plotting with AOC to force everyone to be bisexual — or something like that (I lost track of all the craziness).

Until a few weeks ago, Jorge was adamant that Trump was the most super-patriotic president ever and would one day be regarded as the savior of the nation.

And then a bunch of racist, wild-eyed goons in face paint attacked the capitol.

Soon after, Jorge offered a meek defense of the president’s behavior, but mostly stayed very, very quiet. Then a week or so later, Jorge posted what he said was his last Facebook post. He insisted that the platform had gotten “too negative,” so he was quitting it. He looked forward to everything “getting back to normal.”

And just like that, it was as if his years of cheering for Trump had never happened. 

Jorge made it all go away.

A similar phenomenon is happening with conservatives across America.

You see, for “the majority of GOP officials, apparatchiks, and commentators who sacrificed their dignity at the altar of Trump, a collective case of amnesia seems destined to set in the moment he leaves office.”

It’s important to note that conservatives are not disavowing Trump. They are not denouncing anything he or the GOP did, and they have shown no signs of regret.

Indeed, the Republican Party is once again proving that it would rather implode and die before it condemns the worst president in history. 

Rather, conservatives are simply dismissing the chaos of the Trump years, and the massive failure of yet another GOP president, and the hollowness of their whole movement, by pretending that the last four years were not really that bad.

His supporters, including Republicans implicated in the capitol riot, “are downplaying the attack on our government and suggesting that impeaching the president or holding accountable the lawmakers who helped the attack is ‘cancel culture.’” 

They are insisting that we all need to move on, and that unity consists of letting homicidal treachery slide. They demand, in essence, that we “give the man a break.”

The hope, of course, is that four years from now, voters will not remember the widespread death and economic collapse that occurred on the GOP’s watch, and that Americans will forget about Trump’s narcissistic depravity and grotesque incompetence. Right-wingers hope that people will focus on the good stuff — like god and fluttering flags and owning the libs. Oh, and remember those rallies where MAGA types cheered while the president insulted his enemies? Yeah, those were the motherfucking good old days, all right. 

When looked at in this way, “Trump’s race-baiting, corruption, and cruel immigration policies — not to mention his attempts to overturn an election — are treated as minor subplots, rather than defining features.”

And that’s why my friend (or more accurately, my former Facebook friend) Jorge can just put all this messiness behind him. He no longer needs to defend Trump. He no longer feels like debating the horrific consequences of his support. Yes, America has gone to hell, but that’s not Jorge’s problem — or Trump’s problem, or the GOP’s problem, or Fox News’ problem.

There will be no introspection or the basic acknowledgement of bad decisions. And there certainly will never be apologies or admissions of guilt. There will be none of that.

Because it’s like all of it never happened.

Hey, remember when America got all wacky and thought it would be funny — just fucking hilarious — to elect as our president a racist, misogynistic, ignorant, hate-filled, narcissistic, delusional, incompetent, unqualified, corrupt, greedy, xenophobic, sociopathic, doddering, dimwitted, impulsive, unpatriotic, fascistic, blowhard megalomaniacal liar who had a history of sexual assault, bigoted attacks, shady business dealings, backstabbing, adultery, bankruptcy, and malicious behavior and who would — as anyone could have foreseen — lead the country into widespread chaos, economic ruin, international ridicule, open sedition, and mass death that would rupture society, destroy families, shatter our culture, damage our institutions, and provoke a tsunami of fear, rage, hatred, and violence that will last for years to come? 

Yeah, that guy.

Whatever happened to him?

Yesterday was my birthday, and no, I did not ask for coup d’état, so whichever despotic lunatic ordered one should kindly take it back for a full refund.

Of course, redneck Nazis storming the capitol is less of a shocker and more the inevitable final act to a presidency based on lies, authoritarian tactics, racist appeals, and conspiratorial rationales.

Every day since Trump announced his candidacy in 2015, Republicans have been smugly dismissing the legitimate concerns of progressives as Trump Derangement Disorder, and snapping that we need to get in line and stop hating the president.

And then this morning, the GOP exclaimed, “Holy shit, Trump is a dangerous madman. Who possibly could have known?”

For years, liberals have been saying Trump was a sociopath who would lead us into chaos and violence. Today, the GOP acted surprised when chaos and violence erupted.

But if you supported a neo-fascist freak for three years, eleven and half months, you don’t get credit for ducking out for the last two weeks.

Republicans could have removed Trump via impeachment just one year ago. But they demurred.

Interestingly, Republicans are now openly debating getting rid of this crazed imbecile through the 25th Amendment. Many conservatives are also now willing to say Biden actually won the election. 

And all it took was a riot, the attempted overthrow of the government, and someone getting shot to death in the capitol.

Before yesterday’s insurgency, the capitol had been “overrun by a mass group one other time, in 1814 during the War of 1812, when British troops set fire to the building.”

And not even Robert E. Lee came close to marching through the capitol waving a Confederate battle flag.

So these are Trump’s latest milestones, to go along with the unprecedented death and destruction that he has provoked across America.

Yesterday, the president asked right-wing thugs to attack his enemies. And they did as he asked. So who the hell is actually surprised?

This is what happens “when one group of Americans are taught generationally to believe they are the sole, true owners of a country their ancestors seized from the indigenous and reaped via the blood and toil of others they never viewed as fully human.”

Now, we could ask a number of unpleasant rhetorical questions. Such as why are we spending $700 billion on defense when a bunch of hairy old men can just take over the seat of US government in five minutes flat?

We could also ask what would have happened if the rioters were Black? Ha, just kidding — we all know the answer to that one.

But ultimately, it comes down to one undisputable fact:

Those assholes totally ruined my birthday.

Once you’ve attempted to destroy democracy, overthrow the government, and seize power, it’s a little difficult to say, “Just kidding.”

Yes, I’m sure that in future years, many Republican leaders will insist they never intended to break the country wide open. They were just indulging in “political theater.”

However, even political theater is usually principled or symbolic. It is not, in general, a dangerous and delusional maneuver that breaks through “the last level of neo-fascism.”

Now, we have heard apologists explain that the recent actions of Republicans don’t prove that they are actively hostile to democracy. Supposedly, all these conservative leaders are just appeasing Trump. 

But two rejoinders come to mind:

First, haven’t they done enough appeasing for several lifetimes? And to what end? The guy lost and may end up killing off their political party. And still they’re scared of him?

Second, the idea that the GOP is just trying to keep Trump happy is the equivalent of saying, “I punched my kid in the face only because my husband insisted, and I didn’t want to make him angry.” It’s not an excuse.

The truth is that much of the right wing is all for tearing down America, and they need very little provocation to abandon any coherent political philosophy.

You see, the political party that hates judicial activism wanted judges to be active as hell and overrule voters. The party of states’ rights didn’t want states to run themselves, and instead be subservient to bigger states (like, for example, Texas). The party for freedom and against tyranny wanted to nullify an election and install its own president.

And this is not just a few rogue Republicans. It is vast swaths of the GOP and a majority of conservative voters. In fact, “about 64% of the entire House Republican conference supported Trump’s attempts to invalidate Biden’s win, using baseless allegations of widespread voter fraud as their reasoning.”

Even today, “three-quarters of Trump voters said congressional Republicans should try to keep Trump in power.” Furthermore, over 80% of Trump voters believe that Biden stole the election by committing fraud so egregious and obvious that you would have to be a moron to miss it. At the same time, the fraud is so subtle and devious that no one can find a single shred of evidence or proof. 

That is one tricky balancing act. Damn those sinister liberals.

In any case, many people thought Trump supporters would snap out of it and come to accept reality.

But they will not.

Hardcore Trumpists have turned on conservatives who question their god’s perfection. They have called for violence and martial law. They have made it clear that they will always follow this sniveling old man who “awakened an authoritarian impulse among the citizenry that was far larger and more rabid, and more easily triggered, than most of us ever imagined.”

The specifics and the level of danger may be unique to our time, but “there is a long history of building community cohesion by encouraging members to ignore the facts of the world around them.” After all, the people who believe the Earth is round don’t need to build a community. Reality handles that for them. But when faith and belief clash with logic, reason, and facts, a massive disconnect occurs. And sometimes, “the disconnect between belief and reality is precisely the point,” because when this gap “gets really large and the community becomes more insulated, cults arise.

And that is where we are today, with a cult masquerading as a political party, and truth up for grabs. And when reality itself is debatable, the world spins into chaos and cacophony.

In other words, it’s all very 2020.

There is no master plan. 

There is no four-dimensional chess game being played.

There is no laying the groundwork for 2024, nor is there a rebranding campaign going on.

He is not focused on establishing his own television network, and he is not interested in implementing conservative policies on his way out the door.

And of course, all of his pathetic acts of desperation are not the final maneuvers in a ludicrous, idiotic conspiracy involving satanic cannibals.

It’s perfectly obvious — or should be at this point — that the president is a narcissistic sociopath who is incapable of long-term planning. And although he lies nonstop, he is honest about his lust for power and contempt for humanity, democracy, and Americans in general. 

So why are so many people — from respected journalists to intelligent politicians to pretty good actors —mystified about what is going on?

Perhaps we want to believe, despite all evidence, that Americans did not elect a corrupt con man who is indifferent to the nation’s well-being. We want to imagine some hidden depth to a vapid egotist who received the enthusiastic support of over 70 million citizens. We want to believe that he is not as buffoonish and corrupt as he clearly is, and that there is some misguided principle being manipulated here.

But here is the truth about what Trump wants.

He wants to be president, and he wants Republicans to help him pull off a coup.

That’s it. That’s all.

Sure, there may be supporting malignancies, like his desire for revenge and gluttonous appetite for cash.

But really, he is trying to bully and cajole the GOP into overthrowing the government for him. And he has gotten more than a few conservatives to say, “Sure, why not destroy democracy?”

Apparently, this fact is too disturbing for many Americans to acknowledge, so they scratch their heads and wonder what Trump is possibly trying to accomplish by filing one ridiculous lawsuit after another. Or they question why he flings out wild accusations that shatter upon the slightest analysis. Or they ask why the White House took so long to acknowledge reality and allow the transition process to begin.

OK, one more time —Trump is trying to subvert the will of the people so that he can remain in the White House. It really is as simple as that.

The fact that he is sucking at this endeavor doesn’t mean that he has a hidden agenda. The Trump Administration has been one long study in cartoonish incompetence — from building his mythical wall to protecting Americans from Covid-19. So why should his attempt to seize power be anything other than haphazard and flailing?

There are no smokescreens. His lawyers really don’t know the difference between Michigan and Minnesota. But this just means that Trumpists are idiots. It doesn’t prove that they are master manipulators with unknowable goals. 

After all, if we saw a kindergartener throw a massive temper tantrum for ice cream, we wouldn’t say, “I wonder what he really wants” and attribute complex motivations that end with the assumption that the kid is angling for broccoli.

No, we would say that the little brat wants some goddamn ice cream.

The president, who has been compared to a toddler more than once, is that spoiled kid who wants ice cream. You can tell him that he can’t have any more, or that the store is out of ice cream. Hell, you can tell him that thousands of people might die if he keeps shrieking for ice cream.

It won’t matter. Because he has always gotten everything he ever wanted, no matter how horribly he has acted.

He will never stop kicking, screaming, and threatening. And there is no mystery about what he wants.

Now that this grueling, era-defining election is over, let’s take a moment to reminisce.

No, not about the Trump presidency. We will be reliving that in our nightmares for the rest of our lives.

Instead, let’s fondly recall the myriad ways that the GOP tried to steal this election. Oh, I know that most Republicans are convinced that it was the Democrats who cast illegal ballots, threw out GOP votes, forged dead people’s signatures, hacked voting machines, or mumbled some satanic curse that fooled the media, election experts, and the majority of Americans into thinking Biden won the election. But that just shows how devious liberals are!

Because as we all know, there is just no way that a guy who lost the popular vote in 2016, was projected to lose this time, is reviled like no other president in recent history, and who never once cracked 50% approval for his entire term (a first in polling history) could possibly come up short. 

I mean, it’s just impossible. Right?

In any case, if politics were a football game, the GOP would facemask, eye-gouge, trip, elbow, spike toes, and throw punches in scums. They would do this nonstop. Then they would whine to the refs if the Democrats were off-sides once.

Consider that Republicans, without exception, do everything they can to make voting harder or limit who can vote. To them, voting is not a right. Hell, it’s not even a privilege. It’s a rare luxury reserved for conservatives, preferably white ones.

For example, in my current state of California, the GOP put out ballot boxes, marked them “official” (which they were not) and when caught, simply refused to “comply with an order from the chief elections official to remove the unofficial ballot drop boxes from counties with competitive U.S. House races.” Yes, the party of law and order defied the law and ignored orders. 

In my home state of Wisconsin, “a sophisticated and multi-front effort by Republicans to prevent many Wisconsinites from casting a ballot” was just part of the GOP’s plot to create the most gerrymandered state in the country.

And in Texas, the conservative governor didn’t like all those latte-sipping liberals in the big cities being allowed to vote easily. So Texas counties, regardless of size, were limited to “only one drop-off location for voters to hand deliver their absentee ballots during the pandemic.” Texas Republicans also tried to throw out 120,000 votes from “the state’s most populous, and largely Democratic, county,” which I’m sure was just a coincidence.

Oh, and they also tried to disqualify votes in Pennsylvania, and to stop the counting of votes in Nevada.

When none of that worked, Republican senators just openly tried to “find a way to throw out legally cast absentee ballots.” And if you’re wondering, yes, that effort just might have broken “any number of laws.”

Even after the election was settled, Republicans in Michigan tried to block certifying the results “based on dubious claims of voting irregularities in Detroit.” And then after being shamed into doing their jobs, they attempted to rescind the certification, upon orders from their divine leader.

Of course, the president’s hapless, humiliated lawyers are enduring defeat after defeat, basically getting laughed out of court, as they try to conjure a world in which their delusional client got reelected. Indeed, “some of the lawyers at the firms handling the litigation work for Trump’s campaign or related Republican Party organizations are now raising concerns internally about the legitimacy and purpose of the legal claims they are currently being asked to advance.” The attorneys are concerned that they may run into ethical trouble for filing frivolous lawsuits. But to the GOP, that’s their problem.

However, all this Republican subterfuge really started before the election. After all, it was our neo-fascist chief executive who shrieked those “frequent and false claims of widespread voter fraud and repeated calls for his supporters to ‘watch’ the polls and stop it.” And as we know, conservatives need very little provocation to show up with guns and intimidate people.

Furthermore, it was the president’s supporters who sent threatening emails with the subject line “Vote for Trump or else!” to Florida residents. Opinions vary about whether the originator of the emails was the Iranian government or the Proud Boys (both are winning organizations). But in either case, the message “we will come after you” was pretty clear. 

And don’t forget that the fabled Hispanic vote — which was either a godsend or a major disappointment, depending on your point of view — was likely influenced by “a web of disinformation websites aimed at Latino Americans.” Again, it wasn’t progressives spreading the fake news.

You see, “the objective, pursued by Republicans in a seeming war of attrition, is to use a range of tactics and tools to reduce the number of votes cast by people of color.” The GOP dream is that young people, ethnic minorities, and anyone who lives in a city just shut up and let white rural Americans make all the decisions. 

And yet despite these gargantuan efforts, despite these desperate ploys and unethical maneuvers and pathetic illegalities, Trump still lost — solidly as it turned out.

So to my GOP friends, I must assert — without malice — that if you lie, cheat, and whine but still get trounced, maybe it’s time to admit the truth:

Most Americans just didn’t like your guy.

Look, I don’t know if the guy is planning a coup, or plotting revenge, or just being pissy. Nobody can figure it out.

Even after 48 months of daily insanity, we are still perpetually shocked at the scattershot behavior of a septuagenarian whose rambling self-absorption should disqualify him from hosting a neighborhood bingo night, much less guiding a nation of 300 million people through a pandemic and an economic collapse.

What we do know is that Trump’s administration is “taking on the characteristics of a tottering regime — with its loyalty tests, destabilizing attacks on the military chain of command, a deepening bunker mentality, and increasingly delusional claims of political victory.”

We also know that the number 70 is popping up with disturbing regularity, like it is some kind of mystical numeral.

Witness the fact that 70% of Republicans “say they don’t believe the 2020 election was free and fair.” Their entire basis for this belief is, of course, that their guy lost.

Contrast this with the statistic that Biden’s winning base “encompasses fully 70% of America’s economic activity.” This means the areas that voted for Trump account for less than a third of our nation’s economic output, which is interesting in that they are supposedly the hardworking ‘Mericans being victimized by the big evil cities, when in truth they are being subsidized and would starve in the gutter without urban areas to prop them up.

The third appearance of this magical number is the stat that more than 70 million citizens voted for the reelection of the worst president in history. They apparently believe that these last four years of hell were the fault of liberals, the media, the Chinese, or anybody but a president who can’t string two sentences together without complimenting himself. Yes, almost half of our fellow Americans are fine with this guy.

Of course, this reveals another disturbing fact, which is that although “pundits suggest that the two different political ideologies in America are about values and principles,” the truth is that “the primary difference between the two camps is between those who are living in a fictional world, created by generations of right-wing media, and those who are living in the real world.”

And speaking of living in the real world, keep in mind that despite the bellowing of conservatives, there is not a micron of proof that massive voter fraud took place. In fact, it appears that the most significant lying and cheating is being done in the name of the GOP. 

Furthermore, Biden’s win was actually more decisive than you think, and it was certainly more convincing than Trump’s victory in 2016. Yes, I’m sure plenty of right-wingers are politely debating those very points on Parler right now.

You see, conservatives are depressed that their hero went down in ignominious defeat. Of course, for most people, the first stage of grief is denial. But for Trump supporters, it’s more like denial interspersed with shrieking, foaming at the mouth, and issuing death threats.

In any case, our favorite soon-to-be ex-president has more or less checked out, and he isn’t even pretending to do his job anymore.

This isn’t all bad, in that a monkey with flamethrower would be a more effective leader than Trump.

But it is interesting that he is abandoning his post just as coronavirus makes its dreaded encore. The stable genius who said the virus would magically disappear seems to have gotten it just the tiniest bit wrong. But he clearly doesn’t care about that insignificant detail.

This collection of motley facts is the full extent of what we know.

So let’s not indulge in conjecture about what happens next. Because to be honest, it’s anybody’s guess.

Like all of you, I am exhausted, so I’m not going to get it into too much until we have a declared winner. But as of right now, you would rather be Biden than Trump.

In any case, many Americans are shocked at how close this election turned out to be. 

Yes, we have plenty of commentators rehashing the same argument from 2016, which is that Democrats have alienated swing voters because of their embrace of “socialism.” This is interesting, of course, because it implies that Joe Biden (i.e., the most politically moderate man in America) has either hid his secret socialist agenda for decades, or that a small group of congresswoman is deviously pulling the strings (and no, there is nothing insane, illogical, or flat-out misogynistic about that — nope).

This argument also lets the Republican Party off the hook, because it implies that they have not built a cozy home for bigots, conspiratorial lunatics, and neo-fascist freaks, who in turn, now feel emboldened to get out the vote for the GOP. It also hints that millions of kind-hearted, good-natured Americans have no choice but to vote for a corrupt, incompetent, authoritarian racist whose degeneracy is obvious to a 10 year old. They just have to vote GOP!

No, my friends, it is perfectly obvious who Trump and the modern Republican Party are. And it is also clear that millions of Americans like it.

But if you want to keep blaming liberals for this mess, go ahead.

I’m just going to get some sleep.