Hispanic Fanatic

Well, it’s all over. 

OK, I was referring to the midterm elections, but depending on the final results, that sentence could apply to democracy, the American experiment, or hope for the future.

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This week, millions of Americans will vote for authoritarianism, the subjugation of women and ethnic minorities, climate disaster, and possible open warfare because in their mind, doing this will magically lower gas prices by 50 cents.

But if Republicans do take control of Congress, you shouldn’t worry that they will slash Social Security. How do I know this? Well, I heard it from the same people who said the Supreme Court wouldn’t overturn Roe vs. Wade. And that turned out fine, right?

Ahem.

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Recently, I wrote about the GOP’s odds of taking over Congress and enacting its agenda of turning America into a hellish zone of desolation and despair.

OK, I’m just kidding. The GOP has no coherent agenda.  

But the desolation and despair? Yeah, that part is true.

In any case, the best chance that the Democrats have for retaining control of Congress is to convince Americans that their party is strong and capable of effective governance.

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In less than a month, Republicans will likely take over the House of Representatives. It’s possible that they will snag the Senate as well.

And then Joe Biden’s agenda—which like the man himself, has been mildly successful—will probably ground to a halt. This means that in all likelihood, we have already implemented the most progressive ideas that are going to be fulfilled, for the next couple of years at least.

That’s disconcerting, because it’s not exactly a left-wing paradise around here, is it?

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Yes, I am Latino, as I may have mentioned once or twice. But as I’ve also stated before, I am part Italian.

Now, I’ve never been to Italy, but it’s high on my list of life goals to gaze out over that nation’s windswept coasts, drink wine in a Roman palazzo, and get assaulted by a vicious crowd of fascist thugs.

OK, that last one is less of a goal and more of an acknowledgement of what might happen if I saunter down the streets of Florence, looking all foreign and shit.

After all, Italy is under new management. And its government is going old school—as in Mussolini old school. 

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I was a kid the first time I heard of Martha’s Vineyard. Someone told me that the movie Jaws had been filmed there. Of course, I wondered who this Martha was and how she owned an entire ocean that she could just rent out for filming.

I’ve since learned that Martha’s Vineyard is a destination for rich liberals, and as such, it is a prime target for those conservatives who hate nothing more than a wealthy person who has committed class treason by rejecting ethno-fascism.

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For reasons I have never understood, Ronald Reagan has a positive reputation among Americans. I’ll grant you that he is the only Republican president of the past 60 years whose term in office didn’t end in defeat, disgrace, or both. But why a dithering old bigot who ignored AIDS, created the homelessness crisis, and unleashed hell in Central America is regarded as some kind of folksy icon of freedom is beyond me. 

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An Iraqi Sunni, a Bosnian Serb, and a Moro Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve all been politically downgraded.” So they shoot up the place, killing everyone.

Ha, that’s a good one.

OK, it’s not. But it proves a point.

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Yes, our favorite wacky ex-president is shouting, dodging, delaying, and obstructing his way back into our hearts. He’s hoping to once again avoid consequences for his repulsive and potentially lethal behavior.

And there are plenty of Americans who are happy to help him do so. Now, I’m not talking about the usual co-conspirators, enablers, sycophants, rabid followers, and nutjobs. We know that those guys are all in, all the time.

No, I’m talking about the well-meaning Americans who are advocating for Biden to pardon Trump. This misguided plea usually rests on one of four arguments. And they are all bad.

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I’m part of the problem. 

OK, not me personally. But Latino men such as me—well, there are some issues.

You see, “evidence is mounting that the national political environment right now actually leans toward Democrats.” To be clear, the GOP is still favored to win the House in the midterms, but that fabled red wave might end up as more of magenta splash. 

I’m sure Republicans are wondering why their insurmountable lead has dissipated. Hey, maybe praising a sociopath who steals nuclear secrets, insulting everyone with college debt, and forcing raped children to carry pregnancies to term are bad campaign ads.

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