Hispanic Fanatic

As I’ve mentioned before, the one-two punch of getting downsized and moving across the country has forced me to rethink my career options. I’ve made a living as a business writer for awhile now, so other word-centric professions are a natural fit.

That’s why I’ve ended up bidding on freelance projects to write company blogs, handle social media, and the like. So far, I’ve landed little work – not because people disrespect my qualifications, but because of a sticking point with potential employers:

I’d like to make more than minimum wage.

Yes, back in the pre-recession days, freelance writers could make a decent living, with the best or most experienced rivaling lawyers on a per-hour basis. Now, the market is flooded with people who can fling words together, along with those who think they can, driving down wages to laughable levels.

A company posted an ad that said, seriously, they would pay one dollar ($1) for a writing-heavy assignment. And they had bidders (I was not among them; good luck to my competition on landing that plum gig).

So now there are even more similarities between me and the trabajadores who hustle for work. They too get paid less than they’re worth and have to deal with people who want scam them.

Those are already more similarities than I would like. If I start hanging out in Home Deport parking lots, flagging down passerby in the hopes of snagging an editing assignment, I will know that I’ve taken the connection too far.

OK, I have a few technical details to address here.

First, you may have noticed that I redid the right-hand column of this blog. It better reflects my status as a multitasking, cutting-edge Latino who is always plugged into the zeitgest of a hectic, speed-of-light society.

By that, I mean I have finally signed up for Twitter. My tweets will appear on this blog, but it would be grand if you clicked on the supplied link to sign up as a follower of Hispanfan. I will, of course, reciprocate.

The second change to the column is that I have finally gotten around to adding a search function. So now, if you’re looking for a post I wrote about, say, artichokes, you can go directly to it (by the way, I never wrote a post about artichokes).

Finally, I’m pleased to announce that WordPress has taken care of a nagging bug that has afflicted my site for a while. As such, I finally have a Share Button on the site. So now if a post amuses, intrigues, or infuriates you, you can click the button and send it to StumbleUpon, Delicious, or myriad other social-networking sites. Feel free to do this as often as you can, as that will accelerate the day when the Fanatic has as much media saturation as the cast of “New Moon.”

And what a day that will be.

Hey, thanks Zeus, for commenting on my post “If Only His Name Leant Itself to Some Obvious Joke.” Your opinion that “without Catholicism, there is no Hispanic culture,” is certainly one of the more… interesting comments that I’ve received. As you can imagine, I don’t agree. In fact, I find the idea terrifying. But let’s move on.

As I’ve mentioned before, my rants can also be found on the Huffington Post and TC Daily Planet. Those outlets have editors who read my stuff, inexplicably liked it, and agreed to run pieces from time to time. I remain grateful to them.

Well, I’ve also recently started contributing to All Voices, which to be blunt, doesn’t have the same standards. There are no well-trained editors acting as gatekeepers. In fact, anyone can write for them. You could claim to be a talking cat, and they would take you.

However, the site is popular and may even pay well if I get enough fans to follow me (take this as a hint). So I’ve decided to gamble and put my name on the site. It seems like All Voices will either be the next frontier of citizen journalism, or it will turn into a scattershot clearinghouse for the shrill and deranged. I’ll do my best to tilt that scale in one direction.

This blog will still be my main outlet. I’ll send pieces that are more political to the Huffington Post, where hordes of angry leftists will be eager to pounce on me if I misspell “Napolitano.”

I’ll send pieces that are more news-centric to All Voices, where from the looks of things, hordes of angry rightists will lash out at me if I don’t push for the immediate deportation of myself.

So it looks like it will be a fun time.

I am hitting to road to California this week, so the computer is getting packed up. This means that it may be a little while before my next post. Trust that it’s coming, however.

In the meantime, here’s a picture that my good friend, the infamous Nichole, sent to me. Maybe it’s Photoshopped, but I’d like to think that it’s authentic. It should keep you entertained until I get back.

Ever since I stared this blog, about a year and half ago, I have chronicled the Latino experience, with an emphasis on what it means to be Hispanic in the American heartland. Well, there’s going to be a slight change soon.

My wife and I are moving back to California in a few weeks. This means that I will go from being somewhat unique – brown skin in a sea of white – to being pretty damn common… at least in appearance.

The Latino population of the state I currently live in is less than 200,000 (about 5 percent). In California, it is 13 million (about 36 percent). That is, I suppose, a somewhat noticeable difference.

When I lived in Los Angeles, many people assumed that I had been born there or recently immigrated. I’m sure this will happen again, causing me to reflexively defend my Midwestern roots.

Still, on the plus side, once in California, I may be exposed to more interesting stories about Latino culture through daily interaction. Currently, the only times I hear about local Hispanics are if one of us has committed a grisly crime or via a feature article titled something like “Immigrants Bring Change to South Side.”

One of the negative aspects of moving, however, is that my blog updates may become more sporadic, at least in the short term. This is due to the complexities of selling a house (in a down market no less) packing up all our meager possessions, and driving across the country with a perplexed dog and an agitated cat. You try being insightful twice a week under such conditions… sorry, I’m getting a little defensive in advance.

In any case, I will miss the Midwest. But I’m happy to be returning to the West Coast.

And rest assured, once I’m there, I’ll begin looking for investors who want in on “Hispanic Fanatic: The Movie.” I see Gael Garcia Bernal in the lead role.

I’m taking a brief hiatus from the blog for two reasons. First, my double-vision hasn’t completely faded (see my previous posts on this). My ophthalmologist, who is also an optometrist, is ever the optimist. So he says I’ll be fine soon. But still, I could use a break from the headaches that the computer screen provokes.

Second, I will be traveling this weekend for a friend’s wedding. So it would be difficult to write anyway. With hope, the phrase “open bar” will be uttered at the reception.

In any case, I’m continuing my tradition of posting completely irrelevant videos while I take a short break. Here is a clip of an “Animaniacs” character reciting the countries of the world. It’s dated but bizarrely fascinating, so enjoy.

See you in a week or so.

I’m recovering from eye surgery this week (a fun yet gruesome experience that I recommend for everyone!).

Because it gives me a headache to look at a computer screen for more than a few minutes, I’m just going to write a quick post to catch up on some items that have moved faster than the speed of blog.

First, Father Cutie has left the building. As I noted in a previous post, the Hispanic priest with a winning smile and a way with the ladies (or at least one lady) had put the Catholic Church into a tough position. Should they punish him for breaking his vow of chastity, at the risk of alienating his large Latino fan base, or should they just let it slide, thereby looking like a bunch of weak-willed moral relativists?

Well, Father Cutie made it easy on them by leaving Catholicism and joining the Episcopal Church. I don’t know anything about the teaching of Episcopalians, but they apparently allow their priests to marry, which should please Father Cutie. Actually, that should please anyone who is not totally repressed, but let’s not kick the Catholic Church while it’s down.

As an interesting side note, the archbishop of Miami said that Cutie “is still bound by his promise to live a celibate life…. Only the Holy Father can release him from that obligation.” Well, good luck with that one, archbishop, because it seems that Father Cutie released himself (so to speak) a long time ago.

Secondly, let me thank everyone who commented on my post “A Nation of Laws?” including my old friends Macon D and Raul Ramos y Sanchez. As I mentioned before, Macon D’s blog is stupendous, while Raul Ramos y Sanchez’s powerful writing has provoked the kind of crazy hate mail that I dream of receiving. Maybe I’ll get there someday.

Finally, let me add that my last piece “Some Friendly Advice,” got my biggest response to date on the Huffington Post. Thanks to everyone who commented. I am still, however, lagging in popularity behind my new nemesis Jaime Lee Curtis. So let’s get those comments flying people, so I can take down the “Trading Places” star.

But later – right now, my eyes hurt.

In my most recent post, I wrote that the economic collapse has hit Latinos particularly hard. This pain is not confined to day laborers and construction workers (although they are hurting more than others), but also extends to those Hispanics who have ventured into the white-collar world… like your most humble blogger.

Yes, recently I was laid off from my day job. Thus, the Fanatic has joined the 8.1% of Americans, and 11% of Latino males, who have said adios to regular paychecks. My company, hereafter referred to as “the ex-job,” canned four other people the same day. For the conspiratorial among you, let me be quick to point out that my fellow downsizees are all white. They include a woman who devoted twenty years to the organization and another who is a single mom.

I was surprised to get the news, of course, but not shocked. The ex-job is struggling, and if the economy doesn’t stop hemorrhaging, I fear that the thirty or so people who still work there will be joining me in the nation’s cool new fad of updating resumes and emailing LinkedIn requests.

At the same time, I would be lying if I said that I don’t harbor some hostility toward the ex-job. I worked six years as a business writer for them, and it’s impossible to not feel like a sap when your boss says, “Your performance has been excellent, thanks for your great work and loyalty, and now… bye.”

One reason for my WTF reaction is that despite the very real fact that it is a business decision, there is also a personal judgment being made: You (the freshly unemployed) have been determined to be less valuable to the company than those who remain. You are more expendable.

Since my number came up in the great economic-misadventure lottery, I haven’t been depressed or even worried (my wife and I are in better financial shape than many people in a similar situation). But there are still bursts of anger, which I’ve always thought is the most productive of the negative emotions.

Nothing sets off this anger more than the banal clichés thrust at me by well-meaning friends. In the past few weeks, I’ve learned that it’s always darkest before the dawn, that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, that there’s a reason for everything, and that God never gives us more than we can handle. By the way, I find this latter statement theologically dubious – people who commit suicide, for example, obviously got a lot more than they could handle. But speaking of the Almighty, I’ve also heard that when God closes a door, he opens a window. If you’ve just been blindsided with a layoff, however, you don’t feel like God has been messing around with doors and windows. You think that he just dynamited your house.

Still, I remain optimistic about the future – not just for me but for all of us. Common sense, the laws of economics, and basic karma all say that we’ll pull out of this financial freefall soon.

Perhaps the Obama plan will be the answer. At the very least, maybe the stimulus package will help me land a construction job. I hesitate to look into this, however, not because I’m too good or genteel for blue-collar labor, but because I was really looking forward to continuing Hispanic America’s infiltration into the white-collar world. Also, I’m much better with words than I am with a backhoe. Trust me on this.

So until I land that next office gig, I will be sharpening skills, hustling for freelance gigs, and networking like an overly caffeinated, extroverted state senator up for reelection. And of course, I will remain thoroughly and completely fanatical.

“I will not celebrate meaningless milestones”

Bart Simpson 

Yes, just a few months ago, I reveled in the fact that I had reached one hundred posts. And now here I am, once again accepting cyber slaps on the back and toasts of virtual champagne.

You see, today is the one-year anniversary of the Hispanic Fanatic. In that time, I have written 123 posts, received over 200 comments, and deleted 17 quadrillion pieces of spam from the site. My readership has gone from the low single digits to… well… let’s not talk about how high it’s gotten – just know that it’s gone up.

Thanks to all of you for reading and commenting over the year. I hope to make the second year even more fanatical.

There will be no new posts for about a week, while I briefly escape the clutches of a Midwestern winter for a quick trip to Los Angeles. Yes, I will be staying near the Kodak Theater, where they hand out the Oscars (see my previous posts on this). The irony is nice, but the warm weather will be nicer.

As usual when I take a break, I offer you a clip appropriate of nothing (or everything, depending on your adherence to Buddhist principles). Here is a video of military recruits (country unknown) who perform the worst set of jumping jacks in history.

See you soon.