Hispanic Fanatic

If you can’t beat ‘em, kill ‘em.

You would be forgiven if you believed that this was the GOP slogan for the midterms. After all, the modern conservative movement is not about lower taxes, traditional values, or all the other supposed principles that long obscured the right-wing predilection for violence. No, the Republican Party has quit the exhausting task of hiding its affinity for head-bashing, and instead, conservatives are openly celebrating mayhem. 

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The good news is that Republicans believe in elections again.

Yes, the GOP was ready to dismiss the gubernatorial race in Virginia as just another larcenous farce, but the election met with conservative approval when the Republican candidate won. You know the new governor — he was the guy who campaigned hard against cancel culture by vowing to cancel books by Black people. 

In any case, pundits are united in declaring this to be a harbinger of doom for Democrats in next year’s midterms, the following year’s presidential election, and every election for the remainder of the millennium. Indeed, Democrats will probably lose control of congress in 2022, and it will certainly be devastating if Republicans take over. After all, the GOP might stonewall Biden’s agenda, in contrast to today, when everything is just sailing through and… oh wait.

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There will be no apology, nor will you hear even the hint of a regret.

And if you want vindication, you will have to wait until history renders its judgement. Of course, history takes its damn time, and you will likely be waiting for decades or even centuries to hear, “Yes, you were right.”

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There’s an iron law in politics: Regardless of the actual reason for a crisis, Republicans will always blame immigrants.

Yes, as we all know, the GOP leaders of Florida could not unleash more death upon their state if they hired snipers to shoot at random cars on the freeway. But they deny that their disdain for vaccines and refusal to mask up has, in any way, led to the completely predictable and totally preventable surge of the delta variant that is consuming their residents.

No, according to the GOP, it is once again all those filthy Hispanics swarming across the border (and then presumably swimming across the Gulf of Mexico) that are infesting the brave patriots of Florida.

This pathetic deflection is typical of a political party that has to come up with increasingly ludicrous excuses for being so obviously, painfully, and catastrophically wrong about the coronavirus. They are furiously scrambling to come up with yet more convoluted explanations of how two plus two equals nine. We can practically hear the self-doubt and see the flop sweat.

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Jesus Christ was racist.

OK, I’m not saying that the actual historical Jesus — who may have been black — was racist. He seemed to be a pretty chill guy.

But certainly the European Christian concept of Jesus — all blonde and blue-eyed and ready to do some smiting — was crazy bigoted. 

Of course, the link between racism and Christianity has been strong for centuries. Think of the forced conversions of indigenous people in the Americas, or the zealotry of missionaries in Africa.

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Decades ago, you might have heard Republicans say, “Vote for us because we will improve your lives.” They never delivered — unless you were already rich, of course. Otherwise, they didn’t even try to make life better for the middle or working class.

So the GOP eventually changed its appeal to the watered-down “Vote for us because we will get rid of all the stuff you hate.” This time, they really did try to fulfill their promises. But on just about every conservative issue — abortion, gay marriage, Obamacare — the Republican Party failed, mostly because the GOP’s ideas are idiotic, reckless, and unpopular. Conservatives couldn’t get rid of food stamps, establish English as our official language, prohibit “anchor babies,” or really achieve any of their main goals — except tax cuts for the rich. They are extraordinarily good at accomplishing that.

So Republicans have been reduced to their latest sales pitch, which is, “Vote for us because we hate the same stuff you hate.”

That’s basically it.

There is no grand plan or ambitious goal, unless delusional idolization of the 1950s somehow counts as a vision for the future. 

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OK, imagine you’re a Democratic legislator, and you’re rushing to the chamber to cast your vote on a crucial bill. An old lady collapses in front of you, clutching her heart. If you stop to help her, you will likely cost your party a vote and send the bill to defeat. Do you stop?

Now imagine that you are a Republican legislator in the exact same situation. Do you stop?

This scenario comes courtesy of Rick Perlstein, a historian who theorizes that most Democrats would help the old lady, while most Republicans would step over her writhing body.

Perlstein argues that this is not because Republicans are indifferent to human suffering. It is because they are focused on winning and advancing their agenda at all costs. Democrats, in contrast, are focused on fairness and bleeding-heart concepts such as, for example, helping out old women who have heart attacks.

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If I ran straight at you, screaming insults and talking gibberish, would you turn and hurry away? Or would you stop, nod, and say, “You’ve got my vote”?

Well, for members of the Republican Party, the answer would be the latter, followed by an earnest plea to please yell louder.

You see, there is no debating that the GOP has been “baptized in crazy,” and that “from QAnon lunatics to fanatical evangelicals, the Grand Old Party is out of its mind.”

We’re talking about people who sincerely believe that Trump is the “true president,” that the economy is collapsing (it’s not), and that “the traditional American way of life is disappearing so fast” that conservatives may have to “use force to save it.”

Yeah, that’s all pretty nuts. But the only thing worse than a crazy man is an angry crazy man. And that combo of madness and rage is what makes the conservative movement so dangerous.

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You use just 10% of your brain.

Chameleons change color to match their surroundings.

The Great Wall of China is the only human-made object visible from space.

These are all well-established, commonly known “facts” that are, alas, completely wrong. To this list of misconceptions, untruths, and erroneous assertions, we must add another whooper.

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It may surprise you, but I have friends who are Trump supporters.

OK, they’re primarily Facebook friends, but still…

In any case, a guy I will call Jorge (not his real name) has been clogging up my social media feed for years now with rants about how Trump is unspeakably brilliant, and liberals are hypersensitive haters, and China is plotting with AOC to force everyone to be bisexual — or something like that (I lost track of all the craziness).

Until a few weeks ago, Jorge was adamant that Trump was the most super-patriotic president ever and would one day be regarded as the savior of the nation.

And then a bunch of racist, wild-eyed goons in face paint attacked the capitol.

Soon after, Jorge offered a meek defense of the president’s behavior, but mostly stayed very, very quiet. Then a week or so later, Jorge posted what he said was his last Facebook post. He insisted that the platform had gotten “too negative,” so he was quitting it. He looked forward to everything “getting back to normal.”

And just like that, it was as if his years of cheering for Trump had never happened. 

Jorge made it all go away.

A similar phenomenon is happening with conservatives across America.

You see, for “the majority of GOP officials, apparatchiks, and commentators who sacrificed their dignity at the altar of Trump, a collective case of amnesia seems destined to set in the moment he leaves office.”

It’s important to note that conservatives are not disavowing Trump. They are not denouncing anything he or the GOP did, and they have shown no signs of regret.

Indeed, the Republican Party is once again proving that it would rather implode and die before it condemns the worst president in history. 

Rather, conservatives are simply dismissing the chaos of the Trump years, and the massive failure of yet another GOP president, and the hollowness of their whole movement, by pretending that the last four years were not really that bad.

His supporters, including Republicans implicated in the capitol riot, “are downplaying the attack on our government and suggesting that impeaching the president or holding accountable the lawmakers who helped the attack is ‘cancel culture.’” 

They are insisting that we all need to move on, and that unity consists of letting homicidal treachery slide. They demand, in essence, that we “give the man a break.”

The hope, of course, is that four years from now, voters will not remember the widespread death and economic collapse that occurred on the GOP’s watch, and that Americans will forget about Trump’s narcissistic depravity and grotesque incompetence. Right-wingers hope that people will focus on the good stuff — like god and fluttering flags and owning the libs. Oh, and remember those rallies where MAGA types cheered while the president insulted his enemies? Yeah, those were the motherfucking good old days, all right. 

When looked at in this way, “Trump’s race-baiting, corruption, and cruel immigration policies — not to mention his attempts to overturn an election — are treated as minor subplots, rather than defining features.”

And that’s why my friend (or more accurately, my former Facebook friend) Jorge can just put all this messiness behind him. He no longer needs to defend Trump. He no longer feels like debating the horrific consequences of his support. Yes, America has gone to hell, but that’s not Jorge’s problem — or Trump’s problem, or the GOP’s problem, or Fox News’ problem.

There will be no introspection or the basic acknowledgement of bad decisions. And there certainly will never be apologies or admissions of guilt. There will be none of that.

Because it’s like all of it never happened.