Hispanic Fanatic

There’s an iron law in politics: Regardless of the actual reason for a crisis, Republicans will always blame immigrants.

Yes, as we all know, the GOP leaders of Florida could not unleash more death upon their state if they hired snipers to shoot at random cars on the freeway. But they deny that their disdain for vaccines and refusal to mask up has, in any way, led to the completely predictable and totally preventable surge of the delta variant that is consuming their residents.

No, according to the GOP, it is once again all those filthy Hispanics swarming across the border (and then presumably swimming across the Gulf of Mexico) that are infesting the brave patriots of Florida.

This pathetic deflection is typical of a political party that has to come up with increasingly ludicrous excuses for being so obviously, painfully, and catastrophically wrong about the coronavirus. They are furiously scrambling to come up with yet more convoluted explanations of how two plus two equals nine. We can practically hear the self-doubt and see the flop sweat.

To continue reading this post, please click here.

Jesus Christ was racist.

OK, I’m not saying that the actual historical Jesus — who may have been black — was racist. He seemed to be a pretty chill guy.

But certainly the European Christian concept of Jesus — all blonde and blue-eyed and ready to do some smiting — was crazy bigoted. 

Of course, the link between racism and Christianity has been strong for centuries. Think of the forced conversions of indigenous people in the Americas, or the zealotry of missionaries in Africa.

To continue reading this post, please click here.

Decades ago, you might have heard Republicans say, “Vote for us because we will improve your lives.” They never delivered — unless you were already rich, of course. Otherwise, they didn’t even try to make life better for the middle or working class.

So the GOP eventually changed its appeal to the watered-down “Vote for us because we will get rid of all the stuff you hate.” This time, they really did try to fulfill their promises. But on just about every conservative issue — abortion, gay marriage, Obamacare — the Republican Party failed, mostly because the GOP’s ideas are idiotic, reckless, and unpopular. Conservatives couldn’t get rid of food stamps, establish English as our official language, prohibit “anchor babies,” or really achieve any of their main goals — except tax cuts for the rich. They are extraordinarily good at accomplishing that.

So Republicans have been reduced to their latest sales pitch, which is, “Vote for us because we hate the same stuff you hate.”

That’s basically it.

There is no grand plan or ambitious goal, unless delusional idolization of the 1950s somehow counts as a vision for the future. 

To continue reading this post, please click here.

Consider the gypsy moth.

This humble creature flits about, doing moth things, living its moth life, and dreaming its moth dreams.

And even though it never wanted to be another flash point in this nation’s endless culture wars, the gypsy moth is now a catalyst for political arguments, proving that there is nothing — and I mean nothing— that Americans will not fight about.

To continue reading this post, please click here.

There are numerous aggravating hypocrisies that permeate our culture, such as right-wingers using the word “Orwellian” to refer to anything they don’t like, even if it has nothing to do with Orwell’s theories. 

However, using doublespeak to espouse doublespeak is not as egregious as claiming victimhood in order to maintain power.

Yes, “many White conservatives roll their eyes when Black people claim that systemic racism exists,” yet these same individuals “have steadily built a legal and political movement that claims White people are the primary victims of covert forms of racism embedded in American institutions.”

It’s a nifty trick. Racism doesn’t exist, except whenever White people feel they’re not in charge as God intended.

To continue reading this post, please click here.

For the first time in two years, I went to the doctor for a physical. My numbers are good, except that my blood pressure is borderline high. My doctor recommended that I lower my stress, which I will do as soon as I leave planet Earth and fly off to a marvelous wonderland of peace and love and dancing fairies. Yes, I’ll get right on that, doc.

In any case, I’m in better shape than a lot of people my age, especially my fellow Latinos. You see, a recent study has found that many Hispanics have heart issues, and no, the cause isn’t all those sad Spanish ballads. Researchers believe that “feeling stigmatized, threatened or discriminated against correlates with structural heart abnormalities in Latinos,” meaning that racism is not just infuriating, it is literally lethal.

To continue reading this post, please click here.

I will now present my complex psychological theory that has no basis in data or scientific study, but which I am positive is true (hey, at least I’m honest when I’m just guessing).

In any case, here is my theory:

The Cold War lasted 40 years. During that time, nuclear Armageddon was a constant worry. Yes, Baby Boomers had the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Gen Xers had Reagan joking about bombing Russia. In both cases, an entire generation of Americans grew up with the threat of nuclear war and the possibility that the world would end in an instant. 

It’s conceivable that this existentialist dread fucked people up and made them bitter and apocalyptic for the rest of their lives. And that’s why today we have Boomers indifferent to climate change, and Gen Xers storming the capitol. Hey, why not? Everything is going to shit anyway, right?

Again, I can’t prove any of this. But if some of you readers in grad school are looking for an honors thesis, feel free to run with this hypothesis.

And you’re welcome.

Now, you might be asking, what about the Millennials?

To continue reading this post, please click here. 

When I was a kid, I learned in school that the Lincoln-Douglas debates were intellectual tour de forces of democracy in action. But I didn’t hear that Stephen Douglas argued that “this government was made on the White basis, by White men, for the benefit of White men and their posterity forever, and should be administered by White men and none others.”

I also learned that Charles Lindbergh was a hero who exemplified can-do American spirit. But I didn’t hear that he fraternized with Nazis, extolled anti-Semitism, and embraced a bizarre scientific theory that White men should be made immortal so that they could rule for all eternity.

I learned that Black people got out of control and burned down Watts. But I didn’t hear that White people got out of control and burned down Tulsa.

And I believe the Trail of Tears was mentioned once in passing.

You get the idea. I received what was regarded as a well-rounded education. Unfortunately, it was just slightly full of bigoted bullshit.

To continue reading this post, please click here.

If you are conservative, you believe that this nation is the greatest country in the world, largely because its citizens have an unbeatable work ethic and strive feverishly to achieve the American Dream. 

Also, you believe that Americans are lazy bastards who must be whipped unceasingly just to get them off the damn couch.

And there is nothing contradictory about that. Nope.

In any case, you have no doubt heard about the worker shortage afflicting American businesses. As the country lurches out of the latest recession to occur under a Republican president, companies across the nation have had trouble filling vacant positions.

According to conservatives, this is because the federal government has made unemployment so majorly awesome. As many economists have pointed out, however, there is little evidence that “generous” unemployment benefits are causing American workers to sit around getting high all day rather than look for work.

There is, however, ample evidence that the continuing issues of the pandemic — childcare coverage, lingering health issues, and so on — have combined with a worker awakening that is long overdue. Many people are just now starting to ask why they have to toil in a shit job for shit pay, all because it’s the American Way. 

To continue reading this post, please click here.

In this crazed maelstrom of a society, surely there is one thing that we can all agree on. And it is simply this:

Terror Management Theory is an awesome name for a punk band.

It’s a missed opportunity, however, because this term actually describes a psychological model for how humans deal with the knowledge that we will die someday. Terror management theory (TMT) postulates that “death anxiety drives people to adopt worldviews that protect their self-esteem, worthiness, and sustainability and allow them to believe that they play an important role in a meaningful world.”

Of course, I’m Gen X, so I can’t help but bust out in cynical laughter at the phrase “important role in a meaningful world.”

Ha, there it is again. Sorry, last time, I promise.

In any case, TMT proposes that individuals develop “close relationships within their own cultural group in order to convince themselves that they will somehow live on — if only symbolically — after their inevitable death.”

To continue reading this post, please click here.