Hispanic Fanatic

There are numerous aggravating hypocrisies that permeate our culture, such as right-wingers using the word “Orwellian” to refer to anything they don’t like, even if it has nothing to do with Orwell’s theories. 

However, using doublespeak to espouse doublespeak is not as egregious as claiming victimhood in order to maintain power.

Yes, “many White conservatives roll their eyes when Black people claim that systemic racism exists,” yet these same individuals “have steadily built a legal and political movement that claims White people are the primary victims of covert forms of racism embedded in American institutions.”

It’s a nifty trick. Racism doesn’t exist, except whenever White people feel they’re not in charge as God intended.

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For the first time in two years, I went to the doctor for a physical. My numbers are good, except that my blood pressure is borderline high. My doctor recommended that I lower my stress, which I will do as soon as I leave planet Earth and fly off to a marvelous wonderland of peace and love and dancing fairies. Yes, I’ll get right on that, doc.

In any case, I’m in better shape than a lot of people my age, especially my fellow Latinos. You see, a recent study has found that many Hispanics have heart issues, and no, the cause isn’t all those sad Spanish ballads. Researchers believe that “feeling stigmatized, threatened or discriminated against correlates with structural heart abnormalities in Latinos,” meaning that racism is not just infuriating, it is literally lethal.

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I will now present my complex psychological theory that has no basis in data or scientific study, but which I am positive is true (hey, at least I’m honest when I’m just guessing).

In any case, here is my theory:

The Cold War lasted 40 years. During that time, nuclear Armageddon was a constant worry. Yes, Baby Boomers had the Cuban Missile Crisis, but Gen Xers had Reagan joking about bombing Russia. In both cases, an entire generation of Americans grew up with the threat of nuclear war and the possibility that the world would end in an instant. 

It’s conceivable that this existentialist dread fucked people up and made them bitter and apocalyptic for the rest of their lives. And that’s why today we have Boomers indifferent to climate change, and Gen Xers storming the capitol. Hey, why not? Everything is going to shit anyway, right?

Again, I can’t prove any of this. But if some of you readers in grad school are looking for an honors thesis, feel free to run with this hypothesis.

And you’re welcome.

Now, you might be asking, what about the Millennials?

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When I was a kid, I learned in school that the Lincoln-Douglas debates were intellectual tour de forces of democracy in action. But I didn’t hear that Stephen Douglas argued that “this government was made on the White basis, by White men, for the benefit of White men and their posterity forever, and should be administered by White men and none others.”

I also learned that Charles Lindbergh was a hero who exemplified can-do American spirit. But I didn’t hear that he fraternized with Nazis, extolled anti-Semitism, and embraced a bizarre scientific theory that White men should be made immortal so that they could rule for all eternity.

I learned that Black people got out of control and burned down Watts. But I didn’t hear that White people got out of control and burned down Tulsa.

And I believe the Trail of Tears was mentioned once in passing.

You get the idea. I received what was regarded as a well-rounded education. Unfortunately, it was just slightly full of bigoted bullshit.

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If you are conservative, you believe that this nation is the greatest country in the world, largely because its citizens have an unbeatable work ethic and strive feverishly to achieve the American Dream. 

Also, you believe that Americans are lazy bastards who must be whipped unceasingly just to get them off the damn couch.

And there is nothing contradictory about that. Nope.

In any case, you have no doubt heard about the worker shortage afflicting American businesses. As the country lurches out of the latest recession to occur under a Republican president, companies across the nation have had trouble filling vacant positions.

According to conservatives, this is because the federal government has made unemployment so majorly awesome. As many economists have pointed out, however, there is little evidence that “generous” unemployment benefits are causing American workers to sit around getting high all day rather than look for work.

There is, however, ample evidence that the continuing issues of the pandemic — childcare coverage, lingering health issues, and so on — have combined with a worker awakening that is long overdue. Many people are just now starting to ask why they have to toil in a shit job for shit pay, all because it’s the American Way. 

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In this crazed maelstrom of a society, surely there is one thing that we can all agree on. And it is simply this:

Terror Management Theory is an awesome name for a punk band.

It’s a missed opportunity, however, because this term actually describes a psychological model for how humans deal with the knowledge that we will die someday. Terror management theory (TMT) postulates that “death anxiety drives people to adopt worldviews that protect their self-esteem, worthiness, and sustainability and allow them to believe that they play an important role in a meaningful world.”

Of course, I’m Gen X, so I can’t help but bust out in cynical laughter at the phrase “important role in a meaningful world.”

Ha, there it is again. Sorry, last time, I promise.

In any case, TMT proposes that individuals develop “close relationships within their own cultural group in order to convince themselves that they will somehow live on — if only symbolically — after their inevitable death.”

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OK, imagine you’re a Democratic legislator, and you’re rushing to the chamber to cast your vote on a crucial bill. An old lady collapses in front of you, clutching her heart. If you stop to help her, you will likely cost your party a vote and send the bill to defeat. Do you stop?

Now imagine that you are a Republican legislator in the exact same situation. Do you stop?

This scenario comes courtesy of Rick Perlstein, a historian who theorizes that most Democrats would help the old lady, while most Republicans would step over her writhing body.

Perlstein argues that this is not because Republicans are indifferent to human suffering. It is because they are focused on winning and advancing their agenda at all costs. Democrats, in contrast, are focused on fairness and bleeding-heart concepts such as, for example, helping out old women who have heart attacks.

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Perhaps you’ve heard of Benjamin Rush.

Most likely, however, you have not.

Well, Benjamin Rush was one of the more obscure Founding Fathers, but he was kind of a big deal back in the day. 

Rush signed the Declaration of Independence, served as surgeon general of the Continental Army, and was an all-around Enlightenment intellectual. He opposed slavery, advocated for free public education, supported women’s rights, and lobbied for a more equitable justice system — all edgy ideas for the 1700s. He is also regarded as the father of American psychiatry, and he left a legacy of philanthropy and scientific excellence.

Wow, he sounds great, doesn’t he?

Oh, he also believed that being Black was a horrible disease, and that with proper “treatment,” African Americans could be “cured” and become White.

So there’s that as well.

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If I ran straight at you, screaming insults and talking gibberish, would you turn and hurry away? Or would you stop, nod, and say, “You’ve got my vote”?

Well, for members of the Republican Party, the answer would be the latter, followed by an earnest plea to please yell louder.

You see, there is no debating that the GOP has been “baptized in crazy,” and that “from QAnon lunatics to fanatical evangelicals, the Grand Old Party is out of its mind.”

We’re talking about people who sincerely believe that Trump is the “true president,” that the economy is collapsing (it’s not), and that “the traditional American way of life is disappearing so fast” that conservatives may have to “use force to save it.”

Yeah, that’s all pretty nuts. But the only thing worse than a crazy man is an angry crazy man. And that combo of madness and rage is what makes the conservative movement so dangerous.

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As this horrific pandemic eases into a merely bad epidemic, we are ditching our face masks, embracing strangers, and running into crowded rooms to yell, “Free! We are finally free!”

OK, maybe that’s not quite what’s happening, but after 14 months of fear and isolation, it sure feels like it. However, as we rediscover the outside world, it’s worth asking the following metaphysical question: 

What does it mean to be free?

Now, we could go full-blown Sartre and ruminate and pontificate about freedom, but for most of us, this concept has a fairly simple definition. It basically means that we can do whatever we want, as long as it doesn’t mess with somebody else’s rights. That’s straightforward enough, right?

Oh, I forgot to add one thing. Freedom only applies if you are a white man.

Wait… you didn’t know that part?

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