Hispanic Fanatic

These are magical times.

I don’t mean this is an era of enchantment and wonder.

I mean we are living in a maelstrom of religious extremism, supernatural mumbo-jumbo, and delusional leaps of faith.

For example, you might believe that a sociopathic billionaire is devoting all his energy to eliminating government waste, with no benefit to him personally, out of the goodness of his heart and fierce patriotism. Oh, he will police himself about any conflicts of interest, he will perform most of this work in secret with no accountability (which isn’t suspicious at all), and the average citizen will benefit from his magnanimity.

To trust in this absurd scenario is indeed some powerful hocus pocus.

But it fits with national mood. This is a culture where over a third of people don’t believe in evolution, and the man in charge of the nation’s health thinks vaccines cause your brain to explode.

The truth is that “anti-science mysticism is enabling autocracy around the globe.”

We’re talking about “health quacks and influencers who have developed political ambitions; fans of the quasi-religious QAnon movement and its Pizzagate-esque spin-offs; and members of various political parties … that are pro-Russia and anti-vaccine and, in some cases, promoters of mystical nationalism as well.”

Over the past decade, there has been a lot of talk about America crumbling like the Roman Empire. But some historians believe we are more like 1910s Russia, where Rasputin and various mystics tried to prop up a failing monarchy but only accelerated its downfall. 

Consider that “like the Russians in 1917, we live in an era of rapid, sometimes unacknowledged, change: economic, political, demographic, educational, social, and, above all, informational.” Like those beleaguered Slavs of a century ago, our trusted institutions are floundering, and the entire world is on the verge of widespread global conflict.

Unlike those Russians, however, we “exist in a permanent cacophony, where conflicting messages, right and left, true and false, flash across our screens all the time,” with the result that “techno-optimism has given way to techno-pessimism, a fear that technology now controls us in ways we can’t understand.” So by some measures, we are even worse off then they were.

The result is that “uninformed laypeople come to believe that they are smarter and more capable in almost any subject than experts.” And the loudest and most narcissistic of these walking Dunning-Kruger samples insist that they alone can fix all of our problems with minimal effort.

But eventually, shit gets real, and fast. Refusing a vaccine “might seem like a brave stand against white-jacketed overlords—until your children are stricken with measles or whooping cough.” 

People who believe that crystals cure cancer or that Jesus will swoop in and save us are betting the country’s existence on irrational hope and desperate prayers. They will soon learn that America “cannot function without experts in every field,” and that attempts to purge scientists, well-educated leaders, and competent professionals “is a project rooted in resentful arrogance, and its true objective is not better government, but destruction.”

This nationwide decline in logic and the embrace of the supernatural makes me think of Aleister Crowley, the English occultist who was a favorite of hard rocks icons from Led Zeppelin to Ozzy Osbourne.

Crowley’s philosophy was a weird mashup of yoga, astrology, mysticism, and made-up gibberish. He conducted rituals that included pentagrams, sacrificial altars, and something called “sex magick.”

Yes, it’s all very metal. But it’s not the best guide for how to tun a country.

Crowley believed that “magic is will made manifest.” He insisted that when you focus your intention or desire with enough conviction and energy, your willpower can create real, tangible change in the world. 

How is this different from the belief system of hardcore Trump supporters? 

They insist that Trump will solve everything and bring on a new golden age for America, with no more effort than a wave of his hand, or more accurately, the signing of a couple dozen executive orders. They believe he can do it all through sheer willpower and God-given inspiration. Basically, MAGA views Trump as a fucking wizard. 

Consider that almost two-thirds of Christians voted for Trump in November. And this pious demographic is now gleefully rooting on billionaires who are cutting off aid for starving children, cackling at “the kind of brutality made notorious by Abu Ghraib guards,” and exulting “in the repatriation of their fellow believers into the care of regimes poised to kill them.”

Ultimately, their high priest, their orange sorcerer, will go down in flames. But he will drag the whole country down with him, and no magic will repair the nation.

Abracadabra.

Back in November 2016, when our national nightmare was just beginning, media outlets shouted over each other that racism had absolutely, positively nothing to do with the fact that millions of angry white people had voted for a bigot.

It was just a coincidence.

Well, you’ll be happy to know that media outlets have learned their lesson, accepted reality, and are now reporting the unpleasant veracity that racism is a powerful motivator for Trump supporters.

Ha — no, they are still grasping for excuses, denying the obvious truth that bigotry remains a selling point for the GOP.

You see, the New York Times recently rehashed the 2016 election, and their writers acknowledged the myriad studies that showed Trump supporters were more likely to hold racist views. The Times journalists then stated that they “never found this argument to be persuasive.”

Doubling down on their disdain, the Times stated that the “racial resentment argument doesn’t look merely questionable. It looks wrong.”

So there you have it. The Times is not convinced. 

This is the same paper, of course, that was completely convinced that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. But the implication that much of Trump’s base has an issue with black people and Latinos? How gauche!

The Times rationalizes their bizarre opinion by asserting that liberals insisted that all of Trump’s supporters were racist. In actuality, liberals pointed out that there were other factors for Trump’s victory — including conservatives’ strange love of authoritarianism — and never said bigotry was 100% the reason. 

But the Times sniffs, “Yes, you did,” and goes on to point out that Trump’s popularity has risen among ethnic minorities, so therefore, racism could not possibly be, you know, a real thing.

How does one approach this smug denial? How do we argue with such impervious delusion?

If I said that Led Zeppelin was a hard-rockin’ band, the Times would say, “I’m not convinced that’s true.” They would point out that Led Zep also created ballads and acoustic numbers. Ergo, I’m lying.

I could point to Black Dog or Communication Breakdown or Immigrant Song or Nobody’s Fault But Mine and dozens of other rockers. And the Times would say, “Doesn’t prove a thing.”

Any Zeppelin fan would tell you that analysis of this type is bullshit. And they would also point out that Physical Graffiti is their best album, but I digress.

The Times’ dismissal of data, common sense, and Republicans’ own words has a simple motivation. It is simply too painful to admit that millions of Americans are unabashed bigots. It’s much more comforting to insist, as the Times does, that Trump’s “populism is skeptical of elites, political correctness, high levels of immigration and other forms of globalization.”

Yeah, that skepticism sometimes takes the form of razor wire across the Rio Grande, but are you going to call that racism? Come on, give the right-wing base a break.

The Times kicks around the “old racial-resentment story about Trump’s victory” by telling us that the “working-class group of Americans who have soured on mainstream politics and modern liberalism are not all hateful and ignorant.” According to the Times, these poor souls “are frustrated.”

To which I say, “Who isn’t?” Furthermore, I would like to know why frustration is an excuse to vote for racism. 

But I’m sure the New York Times would say I’m exaggerating.

There are few advantages to being Gen X.

We’re a much smaller generation and therefore less culturally powerful than the Baby Boomers and the Millennials. We’re too old to be hip and cool, but too young to collect Social Security (which will be long gone by the time we’re senior citizens). Also, we were born too late to see Led Zeppelin in concert, but born too early to have our own cell phones as teenagers.

Also, our rock icons keep dying on us.

But there is one advantage we have, and it is this: We are cynical as fuck.

I’m not making this up. Studies have verified that Gen X is the most skeptical group of Americans in history.

Now, you might not think being cynical is an advantage. For the most part, it’s not. But when it comes to existing in the world in which we live, it is a damn lifesaver.

Take, for example, the recent poll numbers for our illustrious president.

In November, when Trump won — due to that archaic relic known as the Electoral College — about 60% of Americans “said they were mostly optimistic about his presidency.” But that number is down to 43% today, and furthermore, “core groups that carried Trump to victory are not immune to the deteriorating optimism around the president.”

I’m not a political scientist, but I’m pretty sure the phrase “deteriorating optimism” is not one that presidents like to hear.

Keep in mind that all these numbers came before the president threatened to start a nuclear war.

In any case, “optimism has slipped more than 20 points — from 74% in November to 51% now — among whites without a college degree.” Keep in mind that this demographic is the most hardcore of Trump’s hardcore support.

Apparently, for some inexplicable reason, back in November, many Americans somehow thought that electing a narcissist with no governmental or military experience, who had a history of racist statements, misogynistic behavior, and unethical actions, and who had the temperament of a spoiled toddler was somehow cause for optimism.

Why any rational adult would think this is completely beyond me.

Even people who knew firsthand about Trump’s insanity seemed to think a 70-year-old bully would somehow become more humble by winning the election. Witness the New York Times columnist who was personally insulted by Trump, but only recently addressed his boorish behavior by stating, “I have to admit that it did not occur to me he’d keep doing that kind of stuff as president of the United States.”

How did this not occur to you? How could this be a damn surprise?

Maybe it’s just not Gen X cynicism, however. Maybe it’s also because I’m Latino, and as my fellow Hispanics — and no doubt most African Americans and Muslims and gays as well — can attest, we never thought the guy would be anything other than a disaster. We never thought he would mellow out, or suddenly become presidential, or really be anything other than what he appeared to be, which is a corrupt, conniving liar who cares about nothing but himself.

It seems that many other Americans are now snapping out of their collective naivety to admit reality. Although I remain baffled why it’s taken people so long to acknowledge the perfectly obvious.

However, if you still think I’m being too harsh, just remember this fact: In spite of everything that has gone wrong with the Trump presidency, 84% of Republicans still support him.

So would you like to ask again why I’m cynical?

In a recent post, I expressed my admiration for the British accent. I said that it was pretty damn sexy, at least on women. I can’t judge if it’s sexy on guys (one of you ladies or gay men will have to inform me). But I will admit that British men sound more sophisticated and intelligent than we who have been afflicted with the flat American way of speaking.

And of course, anything witty sounds twice as funny with a crisp English accent.

I presume that many Americans share my belief in the inherent coolness of these island dwellers. But for a Latino, this fascination is an extra burden. It comes across as self-loathing or pathetic.

For the record, I’ve never been ashamed of being Hispanic. Nor have I ever wished that I could magically turn white or become black or pass for Asian (although many people assume that I’m Japanese, as I wrote here).

But I have to admit, part of me would like to do life all over as a British guy. Those cheeky bastards have a hold on me.

The chief cultural influence on my sense of humor is Monty Python. My favorite band is Led Zeppelin. I think the Union Jack is the greatest flag design ever.

My god, Great Britain is everywhere in my head.

Perhaps this explains my running jokes about having an unhealthy obsession with Kate Winslet (my sympathies on her recent divorce, but I can’t understand why she is still not returning my phone calls). And maybe this is why I’ve spent my professional life focusing on the English language. Hell, maybe this is why I’ve had so many problems with my teeth (I’m not at British level in that regard, however).

I’ve written before about feeling a kinship with Jews. That’s true. But if I were not a proud American Latino, I would adopt an English persona. And I’m sure that many of you – whether white, black, Asian, or a fellow Hispanic – agree that it would be most cool to issue snide asides with flair and take the tube to Piccadilly Circus and complain about the bloody weather and keep a stiff upper lip and all of that.

My wife and I travelled to London once. We still talk about ditching it all and moving there someday. This is usually after a few drinks and/or a Republican political victory. In any case, don’t hold your breath, because we both agree that we would miss America too much to adopt the expatriate life (by the way, would I be considered an expat or an immigrant?).

Still, before I glamorize the British even more than I have, I will bring these smart, sexy, clever people back down to earth:

Their food really sucks.

There, I said it. It’s a cheap shot, I know, but at the moment, it’s all I’ve got.