Hispanic Fanatic

I’ve been married for many years now, so I am blissfully unaware of the intricacies of the dating scene. But I’ve heard from single friends that it’s a hellish endeavor

Yes, it has to be difficult to go out on date after date, vainly searching for that one person with whom you can laugh, open up, and plot the overthrow of the lizard people who are trying to enslave humanity.

This universal dilemma has provoked fed-up and ostracized conspiracy theorists to set up “their own dedicated dating sites, in response to what they see as their growing incompatibility with mainstream society.”

Hey, just because someone is a raving lunatic who believes Jewish laser beams are targeting patriots doesn’t mean he isn’t looking for love. Come on, after a hard day of ranting on Reddit about liberal pedophiles, guys just want to cuddle with a lucky lady who will agree that Islamic terrorists are poisoning the water supply.

One such dating site asks users “to list which conspiracy theories they consider to be real — such as coronavirus, QAnon, New World Order or prepper ideology.”

Really, that’s a lot of craziness to choose from, and one wonders if the person who picks all of them is considered a real catch.

In any case, the desire of conspiracy theorists to mate only with people who share their belief in chemtrails is understandable. After all, so-called normal people are unwilling to put up with lengthy diatribes about JFK Jr. coming back to life. And as one dating-site owner puts it, “vaccinated people are hardly an option” for true believers.

Conspiracy-oriented dating sites are part of a larger pattern. In America and Europe, “hardline conspiracy groups have set up their own off-grid “education hubs” to pull their children out of mainstream education, while others have launched efforts to set up entire breakaway communities.”

Just imagine that community. Every town hall would deteriorate into a shouting match about secret symbols and which neighbor is plotting to betray the others to the one-world government. 

In such an environment, can true love last?

Let’s be honest. You have always wanted to see a ninja fight a dragon. Well, you’re in luck:

I created this image, which would surprise anyone who knows my level of artistic talent (i.e., circles and the occasional stick figure).

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There are no rapists in Texas.

We know this is true because last year, soon after the Lone Star State passed its wildly misogynistic anti-abortion ban, its governor said the law didn’t need an exemption for rape victims, because he was going to eliminate that crime in Texas.

However, the ensuing months have shown that this master plan has worked about as well you would have expected. Which is to say, it hasn’t worked at all.

Of course, such idiotic, outlandish, and flat-out insane statements from Republican officials are not surprising. On the contrary, for GOP leadership, they appear to be required.

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There is no graceful reaction to seeing lunatics get their hearts broken.

When we hear about adherents of QAnon weeping and wailing because their infamously psychotic theory didn’t quite come to pass, well, it’s a question of how we should respond.

Should we laugh?

Should we gloat?

Should we feel pity?

All are understandable reactions when we’re talking about individuals who sincerely believed that Trump was going to round up satanic cannibals with the help of JFK Jr., then wipe out the lizard people that run the world economy.

Really.

Yes, true Q devotees honestly thought that at Biden’s inauguration, Trump would stride to the stage, proclaim himself president, and have every Democrat and Hollywood celebrity promptly thrown into jail. They believed this right up to the moment Biden had his hand on the bible to receive the presidential oath — literally to that second.

And afterward? Well, many Q believers are now saying, “My bad” and trying to slink back into American life. So we’ve had ex-Q fanatics go on television to tell journalists they are sorry for accusing them of eating babies. And we’ve had multiple news stories expressing sympathy for these poor misguided souls who shrieked for suspending the constitution and publically executing anyone who displeased them.

Hey, minor mistake, right? We’ve all been there. Could have happened to anyone. 

Ahem.

What we are seeing is, yet again, the media’s benevolence toward violent White people, and the airing of full-throated rationalizations for delusion, hubris, and horrific behavior among “respectable” citizens.

You see, the link between QAnon and white supremacy is well-established. To no one’s surprise, many disgruntled ex-Q followers are now embracing straight-up Nazism. Furthermore, the anti-Semitism and Islamophobia at the core of the conspiracy theory naturally lend itself to all forms of bigotry.

Of course, it’s not just that you are unlikely to see Black people waving WWG1WGA signs (although that is indeed unlikely). It’s that the very act of becoming a QAnon supporter is a twisted form of White privilege.

Again, look at any article rationalizing the growth of this insanity. You will inevitably read — perhaps to the point of faint praise — how new followers spent 14 hours a day online researching their conspiracy theories.

This is one reason why there are few Latino QAnon freaks. Hispanics are working too fucking hard to spend 14 hours a day researching idiocy. It is only comfortable White people who can indulge in clicking on link after link about Pizzagate and the Storm and similar nonsense.

In addition, Latinos and Blacks don’t need to conjure up imaginary enemies. We had a real-life, 100% verified adversary in the White House for four years, and we see bigots marching in the street, or calling the cops on us for no reason, or even shooting us in our bedrooms. What ethnic minority needs to make up a threatening force? We don’t, because we live in America.

Furthermore, the rise of QAnon is another example of the belief that if things are not working out for white people, it must be a conspiracy. It is also an illustration of how racists will hide their motives by insisting there is some greater good — like rescuing children from blood-drinking sex traffickers — rather than broadcast their hatred. 

Finally, it is perhaps the ultimate example of bigots using their power and privilege to lash out at ethnic minorities, which should not be a shocker because “throughout American history, political violence has often been guided, initiated, and perpetrated by respectable people from educated middle- and upper-class backgrounds.”

And yet numerous media outlets have expressed compassion for this White-centric movement. We hear that QAnon supporters are “regular people” who got “seduced” by a nefarious force beyond their control.

But these are not people who were conned by a compelling theory. These are people who leaned in for a sloppy tongue kiss with craziness.

They possess a strong need for chaos and an insatiable desire for control. QAnon disciples cheered when Trump’s reign “reached its natural culmination, the activation of an army of White thugs who could be motivated by the oldest trick in the nationalist playbook: the promise that they operated in service of some grand idea — to be explained at a later date — and that it was going to take some head-cracking and bloodletting.”

There is a “substantial correlation between those who support or sympathize with QAnon and ‘dark’ personality traits,” such as “extreme, antisocial psychological orientations and behavioral patterns.”

QAnon followers were not seeking explanations for a complex world or trying to rescue America or striving for anything remotely noble.

No, these are people who are sincerely disappointed that a military dictatorship did not institute capital punishment without trial.

So naturally, we should feel sorry for them.

In any case, many QAnon supporters have kept the faith, and simply repurposed their labyrinthine belief system to fit a new set of inconvenient circumstances. 

And those who have renounced it are not sorry for unleashing madness. No, they are angry that Trump didn’t come through, or that democracy prevailed, or that firing squads aren’t lining up Jews right now. 

Others are embarrassed to be so thoroughly humiliated in public, or pissed that they wasted so much time on cryptic prophecies that never came true.

But they are not apologetic for embracing a ludicrous theory that led to actual death, and may yet lead to more destruction. They are bewildered that most Americans would object to their violent uprising, or that anyone would have an issue with their desire to just get on with their lives.

And getting on with their lives is exactly what many of them will do, because their privilege will come through intact.

Hell, some of them might even get elected to Congress.

Wait, check that. Some things are just too crazy to believe.